他俩自小就是好朋友，一个信奉天主教，一个信奉犹太教。 这一天，当他们儿时的女伴重新出现在他们面前时，一切都改变了，他们都爱上了她...... 糟糕的事情还不仅于此，他们还不得不面对自己的信仰：天主教徒不能违背自己作过的不结婚的誓言；犹太教徒也不...更多>
Rabbi Jacob "Jake" Schram: Oy. Father Brian Kilkenney Finn: Amen to your oy. Anna Riley: You don't understand. I have a relationship with my phone, we have a chemistry together, I can't explain it. Jacob: God was showing off when he made you. Indian Bartender: May those who love us, love us. And those who don't love us - may God turn their hearts. And if He cannot turn their hearts, may he turn their ankles, so that we may know them by their limping. Indian Bartender: Let me guess. Your old lady got fed up because you're out here chasing the skirt so she took these little ones and left you. Father Brian Kilkenney Finn: It's a little more complicated than that. Indian Bartender:
Sure it is. Everyone thinks his story is the one with a twist. Well let me tell you, I've heard just about everything there is to...
[Brian unzips his jacket, revealing his priest's collar] Indian Bartender: Holy shit. Father Brian Kilkenney Finn: Exactly. Father Brian Kilkenney Finn: Sometimes we don't see certain things until we're ready to see them in a certain way. Anna Riley: So this is a rectory. That sounds like a dirty word. Rectory! [Brian, a celibate priest, confesses his love for Anna, to Jake's astonishment] Jacob: I mean, she's like your sister! Father Brian Kilkenney Finn: Thank you for adding new depth to my confusion. Anna Riley: I work harder than God. If He had hired me, He would have made the world by Thursday. Rachel Rose: Oh my God! The Iraqi defense minister just committed suicide! Rabbi Jacob "Jake" Schram: Ooh!... Is that bad or good? Father Brian Kilkenney Finn: Is this a good machine? Don: [In heavy Oriental accent] Yeah, that one good. If you a cheap bastard! No, that one OK, but if you serious about car - OK, then there only one machine for you. The Audio 2000! This baby got multiple inputs, dual pitch analyzer, so you can change the pitch, if your voice sucks, but I don' need that. Rabbi Jacob "Jake" Schram: How much does it cost? Don: [shouts] Price is not important Father Brian Kilkenney Finn: No, price is very important. Don: OK, OK, you got me, take me away. It's a little bit expensive, but it's worth it. When you sing, to your girlfriend, and her heart waboom, fall down on the floor, you say Thank you, Don! Father Brian Kilkenney Finn: How much... does it cost... exactly? Don: [looks around and speaks in ordinary American accent] Ok, I don't usually do this but you guys seem like a couple of cool guys and I got a nice piece of ass last night. I'm gonna let you have it for $1300. Father Brian Kilkenney Finn: $1300? Wow. Sorry I'm getting a little hot. [unzips his jacket to show his priest's collar] Rabbi Jacob "Jake" Schram: My friend gets a little hot sometimes. Don: [In normal voice] Oh, man! What is that? Get out of here with that! Is that real? Father Brian Kilkenney Finn: Oh, yeah. Father Havel: I have been a priest over 40 years, and I fell in love at least once every decade. Anna Riley: How is that possible? Anna Riley: Don't you have work? Rabbi Jacob "Jake" Schram: We're doing a hostile takeover of Congregation Bertov Sholem. Father Brian Kilkenney Finn:
I got you something. I almost didn't because I was so mad but this is too good.