你办事我放心 (2000) 5.9

Sammy: That just seems like an awful lot of extra paperwork. Brian: I like paperwork. Sammy: I could use a beer. Brian: I could use a tranquilizer. Sammy: So, how was school today? Rudy: Stupid. Terry: Put on your seat belt. Rudy: It pushes on my neck. Terry: What? Rudy: It pushes on my neck, it's uncomfortable. Terry: Well, when someone slams into us and you go sailing through the windshield, that's liable to be uncomfortable, too. Now, put on a seat belt. Brian: Obviously you're not happy here. You keep leaving, and fighting with me. Sammy: You have got to be the worst manager we've ever had. The worst. Brian: I think this is just an issue we need to explore! Sammy: You explore it! I'm going back to work. Terry: Where were you? Sammy: Nowhere. I had dinner with my boss. Terry: Kind of a late dinner, ain't it? Sammy: Yeah. How was Rudy? Terry: Fine. He's asleep. Sammy: Did the plumber come? Terry: Yeah, the fucking plumber came! Sammy: Terry, just give me a break! Terry: What's the matter with you? Sammy: Nothing, I'm just tired. Terry: Wanna smoke some pot? Sammy: No I don't... why, you got some? Terry: I don't know, Ron. A lot of what you're saying has real appeal to me. You know, the stuff they told us when we were kids. But I don't want to believe in something or not believe in it because I might feel bad. I want to believe in it or not believe in it because I think it's true or not. Sammy: I don't know what the church's official position is on fornication and adultery these days, and I felt really hypocritical not saying anything to you about it before, but... what *is* the official position these days? Ron: Well... it's a sin. Sammy: Good, I think it should be! Ron: But we try not to focus on that aspect right off the bat. Sammy: Why not? I think you should. Ron: Well... Sammy: Maybe it was better when they screamed at you from the box for having sex with your married boss, they told you what a terrible thing it was, they were really mean to you. Maybe it would be better if you just told me that I'm endangering my immortal soul and that if I don't stop, I'm gonna burn in hell. Don't you ever think that? Ron: No, not really. Sammy: [to Terry] Are you out of your mind? You know, I admit I may not be the best mother in the world, but I'm doing the best I know how, and he doesn't need you to rub his face in shit because you think it's good for him! He's gonna find out that the world is a horrible place and that people suck soon enough and without any help from you! Sammy: [picks up phone] Hello? Brian: Yeah, Sammy, it's Brian. Sammy: Brian! Brian: What the hell happened to you today, lady? Sammy: [rolls eyes and hangs up] Sammy: [phone rings again] Hello... Brian: You're fired! Sammy: Good! [slams phone down] Sammy: [to Brian] You know, if I were you, I'd be a little nervous about firing somebody I'd just had an affair with, okay? Terry: [as they get in the car] Where are we going? Sammy: To pick up Rudy. Terry: What, do you not even want me to come visit now? Sammy: Of course I want you to visit, you idiot! I've been looking forward to seeing you from the moment I got your letter, I told everyone in town that you were coming home, I cleaned the whole *fucking* house just so it would look nice for you! I had no idea you were just broke again! I wish you'd just send me an invoice! Rudy: Who are you talking about? Terry: Some wild kids we used to know. Rudy: Were you a wild kid? Terry: Not as wild as your mom. Rudy: Yeah, right... Terry: Oh, you don't believe me? Rudy: No. Terry: Ask her. Rudy: Mom, were you? Sammy: [long pause] No comment.

23

Rudy

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: Why are you smoking? Terry: Um, because it's bad, don't ever do it. Terry: You mind if I ask you a personal question? Rudy: I don't know. Terry: Do you like it here, I mean in Scottsville? Rudy: Yeah. Terry: Why? Rudy: I don't know, my friends are here, I like the scenery... I don't know. Terry: I know, I know, it's just so... there's nothing to do here. Rudy: Yes, there is. Terry: No, there isn't, man. It's narrow. It's dull. It's a dull, narrow town full of dull, narrow people who don't know anything except what things are like right around here. They have no perspective whatsoever, no scope. They might as well be living in the 19th century 'cause they have no idea what's going on, and if you try and tell 'em that they wanna fucking kill you. Rudy: What are you talking about? Terry: I have no idea... you're a good kid. Bob Steegerson: [picks up a phone call from Sammy] Bob Steegerson. Sammy: What are you wearing? Bob Steegerson: Mom? Sammy: What is happening here? Terry: It's just the problem is the pipes are corroded the whole length of the hall, so every time I put a new piece in it starts leaking further down. Sammy: Why don't I just call the plumber? Terry: Why? He's not gonna do anything different than what I'm doing. Rudy: Yeah, we're only making it worse. Terry: No we're not, shut up! [Terry pulls a pipe out of the floor and accidentally sprays Sammy with water] Sammy: Thanks. Thank you. Rudy: [as Terry is packing up] Where are you going? Terry: I don't know. I just want to get out of this town. And if you've got any sense when you get old enough you'll get out of here too. Your Mom's gonna live in this town for the rest of her life, and you know why? Because she thinks she has to. Don't ask me why, but that's the truth. She thinks there's all these things she has to do, but you want to know one thing about your Mom? She's a bigger fuck-up than I ever was. I mean, I know I messed up. You think I enjoy getting thrown in jail because I wanted you to face that prick your Dad like a little man and see what kind of a guy he is? I know I got a little carried away, and I lost my temper just a little bit - which is not the end of the world either, by the way, just for future reference - And now she's kickin' me out of my own house because - you know, because I fucked up a little bit. Which I totally admit. I was like - totally ready to admit that. Terry: Yeah, this is the haute cuisine of garments. Terry: So how are ya? Sammy: I'm fine, Terry. Terry: So um... um, how'

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s Rudy? Sammy: We're fine, Terry. [beat] Sammy: How are you? Terry: Uhhh, yeaahhh... Sammy: [whispering] Terry, I fucked my boss. Terry: What? Sammy: And his wife is six months pregnant... Terry: Jesus Christ, Sammy! Sammy: [shamefully] I know... I know... Sammy: I'm going to bed. You need anything? Terry: [playing Rudy's handheld game, not looking up] No, I'm good. Sammy: Okay. Terry... I'm really glad your home. Terry: [stops playing game, looks up and smiles] Yeah, me too, Sammy.