Rachel: You were our Fred and Ethel Mertz! Katie Jordan: Funny, we thought you were OUR Fred and Ethel Mertz. Stan: Love is just lust in disguise, and lust fades, so you damn well better be with someone who can stand you. Rachel: Marriage is the Jack Kevorkian of romance. Rachel: It is physically impossible to French-kiss a man who leaves the new roll of toilet paper resting on top of the empty cardboard roll. Does he not see it? DOES HE NOT *SEE* IT? Lillian: Oh Dot, put out once in a while, your face won't be so tight. Ben: And you can take that bread and shove it up the tops of your legs! Katie: I want to go to Chow Funs Ben: I thought we agreed we couldn't really talk at Chow Funs Katie: I know Ben: Are you saying Chow Funs because you can't face telling the kids? Because if that's why you're saying Chow Funs, don't say Chow Funs Katie:
That's not why I'm saying Chow Funs. Funs, I'm saying Chow Funs because we're an us. There's a history here, and histories don't happen overnight. In Mesopotamia or Ancient Troy there are cities built on top of other cities, but I don't want another city, I like this city. I know what kind of mood your in when you wake up by which eyebrow is higher, and you know I'm a little quiet in the morning and compensate accordingly, that's a dance you perfect over time. And it's hard, it's much harder than I thought it would be, but there's more good than bad and you don't just give up! And it's not for the sake of the children, but God they're great kids aren't they? And we made them, I mean think about that! It's like there were no people there, and then there were people and they grew, and an an an I won't be able to say to some stranger Josh has your hands or remember how Erin threw up at the Lincoln Memorial And I'll try to relax, let's face it, anybody is going to have traits that get on your nerves, I mean, why shouldn't it be your annoying traits, and I know I'm no day at the beach, but I do have a good sense of direction so I can at least find the beach, which isn't a weakness of yours, it's a strength of mine. And God your a good friend and good friends are hard to find. Charlotte said that in Charlottes Web and I love how you read that to Erin and you take on the voice of Wilber the Pig with such dedication even when your bone tired. That speaks volumes about character! And ultimately, isn't that what it comes down too? What a person is made of? That girl in the pin helmet is still here 'bee boo bee boo' I didn't even know she existed until you and I'm afraid if you leave I may never see her again, even though I said at times you beat her out of me, isn't that the paradox? Haven't we hit the essential paradox? Give and take, push and pull, the yen the yang. The best of times, the worst of times!I think Dickens said it best, 'He could eat no fat, his wife could eat no lean', but, doesn't really apply here does it? What I'm trying to say is, I'm saying Chow Funs because, I love you
Ben: Did you hear that kids? Mom wants to go to chow Funs! Ben: Isn't this the moment where one of us is supposed to say: Look, this is ridiculous, we love each other, all couples go through this, let's give it another try. Katie: Once you establish *anything* truly intimate with another person - even *talking* - it has to affect the person you're supposed to be the most intimate with. Katie: There are some hurts that you never completely get over. And you think, I don't know, that time will diminish their presence - an-an-and to a degree it does - but, ah... it still hurts. Because, well... hurt hurts. Rachel: [to Katie] But that's Ben - that's who you fell in love with. Katie, you are at 80 who you are at 8. People don't *change*! [following scene] Rachel: [to Ben] People *change* over time - you've got to expect that. Ben, the only way a relationship works is if people grow and change together! Ben: We don't have a pea under our mattress. You know what we have? [shouts] Ben: A fucking watermelon!