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In 1971 Salford fish-and-chip shop owner George Khan expects his family to follow his strict Pakistani Muslim ways. But his children, with a...
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Linda Bassett
演员
饰Ella Khan
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Archie Panjabi
演员
饰Meenah Khan
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Emil Marwa
演员
饰Maneer Khan
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Jimi Mistry
演员
饰Tariq Khan
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George Khan:
... when I come this country, I have no luggage. Today what I got?
Meenah Khan:
You got a chip shop. dad.
George Khan:
Right. Own bloody business, see.
Priest:
God bless.
George Khan:
And our god with you.
[In the hospital following Sajid's circumcision]
George Khan:
Tickle-Tackle all gone?
Doctor:
[Puzzled] Circumcision was absolutely fine.
George Khan:
You Indian?
Ella Khan:
[whispering] George.
George Khan:
[to Ella] Bastard Indian.
Tariq Khan:
[Watching Enoch Powell speaking on TV] We should have a whip round and get Dad repatriated.
Ella Khan:
Do you think I'm a good mother?
Auntie Annie:
No, I think you're a friggin' awful mother.
Ella Khan:
They filmed "The Dambusters" here.
Meenah Khan:
Mam, you say that EVERYTIME we come to Bradford.
Ella Khan:
Well they bloody did.
[Abdul and Tariq approach a local nightclub]
Bouncer:
All right, Tony, how ya goin' mate?
Tariq Khan:
All right, Bazza?
Bouncer:
Yeah, good to see ya. All right, in ya go.
Tariq Khan:
Nice, mate.
Bouncer:
[to Abdul] Where do you think you're going, smiler?
Tariq Khan:
This is our kid, erm...
Abdul Khan:
Arthur, me name's Arthur.
Stella Moorhouse:
I'll never let the colour of your Dad come between us.
George Khan:
I won't have my son looking like bastard hippie.
Stella Moorhouse:
Let's elope. That's soooo romantic.
Mr. Moorhouse:
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See. You let one of 'em in, and the whole fuckin' tribe turns up.
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Ella Khan:
Sorry about him Mr. Shah. He's just been circumcised.
[Annie meets Tariq and Abdul's brides to be]
Auntie Annie:
[sarcastic] Is it these two. They're bleedin' gorgeous. You're lucky you pair aren't ya. Landin' a couple of belters like these.
Auntie Annie:
They'll do anything for you Mrs/ Shah. Good Samaritans they are. Just like in the Bible.
[Heard by Mrs Shah from outside]
Meenah Khan:
[Referring to the Shahs' daughters] Have you seen the state of them two. One of 'em's got a moustache like Dad.
Ella Khan:
Kids eh. Were your two like that Mrs. Shah?
Mrs. Shah:
[Sternly] No.
Mrs. Shah:
I believe in strict discipline. Especially in a NON-Pakistani environment.
Auntie Annie:
Our Peter knows how far he can go before I knock him to Kingdom Come. And that's just my husband Mrs. Shah.
Mrs. Shah:
I will never allow my daughters to marry into this jungly family of half-breeds.
Ella Khan:
Well they may be half-bred, but at least they're not friggin' inbred like those two monstrosities.
Mr. Shah:
[to George] You're wife's a disgrace.
Ella Khan:
[to Mrs. Shah] Piss of out of my house, and take Laurel and Hardy with you.
Priest:
God Bless.
George Khan:
Allah go with you.
Sajid Khan:
Mum! Mum! The Pakis are here!
Mark:
Gunga Din! Drinking the white man's brew!
Fat Twat:
What are you doing here, Abdul?
Abdul Khan:
It's me stag night. I'm gettin' married.
Mark:
Who to?
Abdul Khan:
Dunno. Me dad hasn't bothered introducing us yet.
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