"Popular" (1999) 7.7

April Tuna: Hi Lily E., Josh Ford, I was wondering if you would like to form a ménage? Josh Ford: I'm failing Spanish April, no el comprende. Lily Esposito: April! Do you know what that word means? It's... inappropriate. April Tuna: Does she use five syllable words like that in bed? BRING IT! Mary Cherry: We're smart, we're witty, and we've got asses that rock! Harrison John: Eat me, Nicole. Nicole Julian: Sorry hon, I'm on appetite suppressants. Cherry Cherry: [about daughter Mary Cherry] She may not be smart or pretty, but she's as loyal as a rottweiler! Cherry Cherry: I'm Cherry Cherry. Mother of... Mary Cherry. [Mary Cherry isn't happy with the pretty Asian exchange student] Mary Cherry: Exquisite, my ass!... Which Rocks! Mary Cherry: [after being shown a cheer routine] Do we have to do those splits? I'm a Christian. Nicole Julian: Sugar D., stop staring at Mary Cherry like she's a Hot Pocket. Nicole Julian: Sure, I'll put Carmen on the squad. When hell freezes over and/or Melissa Joan Hart gets nominated for an Oscar. Nicole Julian: You'll play right into Sam's cold, unmoisturized hands. Mary Cherry: This is worse than Kathie Lee Gifford singing cabaret! Mary Cherry: I lied about my secret. it's actually more shockin' and scandalous than all yours combined. I slept with Josh too, and Joe at the same time. Josh Ford: Hey! I'm not like that! Mary Cherry: Shut your dirty whore mouth, player player! But two men folk could not satisfy my carnal cravings. That's why Lily... slept with us too. Lily Esposito: I did not! Mary Cherry: Stop lyin', lil Lilly, you loved it! Lily Esposito: [on top of Mary Cherry beating her against the sofa] Mary Cherry, you are a total liar. I hate liars and I hate you! Mary Cherry: Oh, give me... just give me a minute! Lily Esposito: What? Mary Cherry: Stop trying to kiss me, Lily. Carmen Ferrara:

53

[after catching Mary Cherry peeping on the boys in the shower]

fe3

OK, I have to turn you in, 'cause this is wrong. Mary Cherry: No, no, no, no, wait, wait, wait, wait. Carmen, wouldn't you like to know everything there is to know about the mysterious, the debonair... Josh? Carmen Ferrara: Get rid of that fog, Mary Cherry. Miss Roberta 'Bobbi' Glass: What in the name of Bob Vila is going on here? Mary Cherry: It's her fault. She slipped me a ruffie! Mary Cherry: [after finding out they have been locked in the girls bathroom] Oh, my God, y'all. We're *caged*! Mary Cherry: What's it gonna take to get me on that squad? Everybody's got a price, even you, whore of Babylon. Nicole Julian: Funny you should mention demands, back-seat tease. I did some doodling in study hall. Now, obviously I'm a girl in need. However, seeing as we have history, I've decided to lower the list of demands from 300 to 1. Give me your knee. Mary Cherry: Never. I draw the line at amputation. But, um, I tell you what. I'll give you my uterus and we'll call it a day, okay? Police Officer: I'm gonna have to give you a ticket Cherry Cherry: And I'm gonna have to give you the finger. Police Officer: That's it. I'm booking you! Spread 'em! Cherry Cherry: Only after a wedding proposal and a credit check! Samantha 'Sam' McPherson: You know what, Brooke? Cancel my subscription, I'm over your issues. Nicole Julian: Our next nominee - a size 10 - Mary Cherry! Cherry Cherry: Dang! She does look as big as a house, don't she? Nicole Julian: [after Carmen ripped off her shirt] What are you looking at, Salmonella? April Tuna: A quivering mound of scary flesh. And that's President Salmonella to you. You gonna crawl out the window? Nicole Julian: No, I'm leaving the same way I came in. Good day. Harrison John: Mary Cherry, you are the most beautiful women in the world. Will you please cha-cha with me and be my lady? Mary Cherry: I'd thought you'd never ask, Jose. Shake your booty! Mary Cherry: I went to Freaknik in Hotlanta and turned the mother out! Harrison John: I thought that you of all people at this school would be different. Samantha 'Sam' McPherson: I am different. Harrison John: You want to be unique, sure. Just like everyone else. Nicole Julian: The bitch is back. Nicole Julian: [about Brooke] I am going to get that bitch. Mr. McQueen: Are you drunk? I'm calling your mother. Nicole Julian:

cf

Do you think she cares? She doesn't. In fact, the only time I ever get any attention around her is when I've done something particularily horrible. So I guess tonight at prom I'll have to outdo myself.