Casey Schuler: I hate this bug. Colonel Sam Daniels: Oh, come on, Casey. You have to admire its simplicity. It's one billionth our size and it's beating us. Casey Schuler: So, what do you want to do, take it to dinner? Colonel Sam Daniels: No. Casey Schuler: What, then? Colonel Sam Daniels: Kill it. Casey Schuler: How many brain cells did I kill? Sam Daniels: How many? About a billion. Casey Schuler: Oh, now I'm only as smart as you. Sam Daniels: What can we give him to kill his sense of humor? Mrs. Pananides: I have a friend in the Coast Guard, all I have to do is call... Daniels: How close a friend? Mrs. Pananides: Closer than his wife would like. Sam Daniels: If you think I'm lying, drop the bomb. If you think I'm crazy, drop the bomb. But don't drop the bomb just because you're following orders! Colonel Sam Daniels: Sir, what did I ever do to make your life miserable? General Billy Ford: You got up this morning, didn't you? Col. Sam Daniels: Just don't get negative on me. Major Salt: Affirmative. Sergent Meyer: Sir, my pilot is taking a leak. Col. Sam Daniels: A leak? No shit! Colonel Sam Daniels: You know Salt, fear gets a bad rap. I don't want anybody in my outfit that doesn't get scared. Major Salt: Then I'm your man sir. Colonel Sam Daniels: Anything I can do to help? Major Salt: Just don't make me nervous. General McClintock: With all due respect, Colonel Daniels, if you do not follow us to Travis Air Force Base, I will blow you out of the sky. Daniels: General, with all due respect, fuck you, sir.
[George isn't cooperating with Daniels]
Colonel Sam Daniels: George, you've heard about this virus?... Shall I cough on you, George? Colonel Sam Daniels: We are fugitives of the law. Idiocy is our only option. Major Schuler: [to Daniels] Allow me, sir. [to Salt] Major Schuler: Major! Major Salt: Yes... Major? Major Schuler: I hate them willies, they ought to call them the Sams don't you think? Sam Daniels: Why don't you just for once take a chance? Robby Keough: You know what, Sam, I did, I married you. Sam Daniels: [after his ex-wife's just hung up on him] First we're fighting over the dogs now a virus. I can't believe this! Phone Guy: This could mean my stripes, sir. Col. Sam Daniels: It'll mean your ass if you don't get your finger on the phone. Finger it! Colonel Sam Daniels: Thank you, Mrs. - what was her name again? Major Salt: Pananides! Colonel Sam Daniels: If one of them have it then ten of them will have it and if one of them leave Cedar Creek then we're in deep fucking shit... we're already in deep fucking shit!