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"Hercules: The Legendary Journeys"
(1995)
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Autolycus:
All men think they're fascinating- in my case, it's justified.
Hercules:
What are you doing here?
Iolaus:
What do you mean?
Hercules:
Iolaus, you're dead.
Iolaus:
Yeah, well, I was kinda hoping you wouldn't notice.
Iolaus:
Have you ever been wrong?
Hercules:
I thought so once, but I was wrong.
Ares:
I can't believe you have these mortals convinced that you're this "Kevin Sorbo" character.
Hercules:
Some people just aren't ready for the truth.
Autolycus:
Of course I care about the needs of the people... I happen to be one of them.
Autolycus:
Ah, my fame spread like wildfire.
Iolaus:
No, more like a bad rash.
Hercules:
Rumor has it that Otis stole it from a warlord who had stolen it from someone else.
Autolycus:
So much for honor among thieves; gives us all a bad name.
Autolycus:
Gadzooks, if I were a woman I'd kiss myself!
Iolaus:
The truth hurts doesn't it.
Autolycus:
Yeah, so does my fist.
Loki:
Rage makes a poor tactician.
[Iolaus tries to fight a giant eel by himself]
Lydia:
How do you expect to win?
Iolaus:
You just keep going until something clever occurs to you.
[after bopping a thug in the face with his own forehead]
Salmoneus:
Ahh! How do people do that without getting headaches?
[Hercules is walking through a cavern where dozens of Arachne's cocooned victims are bound in spider's web]
Hercules:
This is one big web site.
Trojan Fugitive:
[poking a spear at a trembling bush] Come out, spy!
Weyland the Slave:
[standing up indignantly] I'm not a spy! I'm a slave!
Trojan Fugitive:
We do not accept slaves in Troy.
Weyland the Slave:
That's all right. I'm used to prejudice.
Hercules:
Once you have harpies you can't get rid of them.
Autolycus:
I hate to break it to you, big guy, you've got harpies.
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