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Frankie Dean:
My Craig could sell sand to the desert.
Rebecca 'Becca' Hayton:
[about Justin] He kissed me in the middle of the classroom
Ben Davies:
Blimey, he's got some bottle for a 16-year-old, ain't he?
Rebecca 'Becca' Hayton:
He's ..
Max Cunningham:
Simple but brilliant... just like OB.
Lee Hunter:
Oh, come on. OB could flog g-strings to nuns.
Dannii Carbone:
[about Zara] That girl could start an argument in an empty room!
Richard Taylor:
[shouts] Timber!
[bits of wall crash down the stairs]
Justin Burton:
[about Becca] She thinks I'm too young.
Ali Taylor:
She's not wrong there.
Darlene Taylor:
[about Justin] You do have your uses, don't you?
Craig Dean:
[to Jack] Chill out, Daddy-o!
Frankie Dean:
[about a lavendar pillow] I've heard it's good for flatulence.
Ali Taylor:
What sort of film is this?
Justin Burton:
It's porn...!
Craig Dean:
Richard Branson didn't build up his fleets by helping his mum set the video...
Jack Osborne:
Craig Dean, you could sell snow to the Eskimos.
Tony Hutchinson:
[about Ali and Darlene] You're not surely suggesting we indulge them, are you?
Mandy Richardson Hutchinson:
Well, you should have thought of that before getting your kit off, shouldn't you?
Lee Hunter:
Do you really think going with all of Dan's mates will bring him back?
Lisa Hunter:
Thanks, Lee. Now I know how you really feel.
Steph Dean:
What did I get back? Nothing!
Frankie Dean:
I know, love. But your arm looks good...
Lisa Hunter:
I want you to get to know my family better.
Ben Davies:
I already know them!
Lisa Hunter:
Yeah, well, it's different now.
Jack Osborne:
If she's old enough to be in college then I'm Miss World.
Sam 'OB' O'Brien:
Then put your bikini on, Jack, 'cause she's doing media studies.
Stacey:
I'll see if I can get you a job at the salon.
Lee Hunter:
Thank you, I could kiss you right now!
Stacey:
Most men could - I'm gorgeous!
Stacey:
Can you make me one of those coffees?
Bella Manning:
Would that be with or without arsenic?
Stacey:
Oh, I don't mind as long as it's frothy!
Steph Dean:
[at Cameron's audition for a band] Cam can sing.
Declan:
I sing.
Steph Dean:
Yeah, well you might want a night off!
Declan:
Name me one band with two singers.
Steph Dean:
The Beatles.
Declan:
Apart from The Beatles.
Steph Dean:
Oasis. Oh, and Abba!
Declan:
Do we look like Abba?
Steph Dean:
Well, you could grow your beard a bit longer.
Liz Burton Taylor:
[screaming] Get off him! Why are you hitting my son?
Jacob 'Jake' Dean:
[to Becca, who is crying] Tell them what you've done!
[silence]
Jacob 'Jake' Dean:
She's been having an affair. The lying bitch has been having an affair!
Frankie Dean:
With who?
Darren Osborne:
Word of advice, Frankie, never apply to be on Mastermind.
Quiz Master:
Who's the only gay in the village?
Tony Hutchinson:
Dominic
Drag Queen:
[During the trivia quiz at Gay Night at the SU bar] Who is "the only gay in the village"?
Tony Hutchinson:
Dominic! I mean Daffyd!
Dominic Reilly:
I'm not gay, I'm a virgin!
Drag Queen:
Ooh darling, I hope you're saving yourself for me!
Sam 'OB' O'Brien:
[after he opens the freezer at Il Gnosh, which Dom & Tina are trapped in] Oh, sorry mate, I didn't mean to interrupt anything...
Dominic Reilly:
[embarrassed] Tina was just admiring my profiterole tower.
Sam 'OB' O'Brien:
Is that what you call it?
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