Don Tibbles: Today it's Wheaties boxes. Tomorrow it's video games and action figures. The sky's the limit! Coach Bombay: Haven't you guys been training in the off-season? Lester Averman: You know, I knew we forgot something. Russ Tyler: Hey yo, team U.S.A., what you gonna do today, a million jumpin' jacks? Portman: Man this kid's crazier than me. Just forget him! [Jesse comes to the front] Jesse: Man I'm gettin' sick of you! Russ Tyler: And I'm gettin' sick of seein' the U.S.A. represented by a bunch of whining babies! Jesse: Well, too bad you can't back up that mouth! Lester Averman: Here with us, Greg Goldberg, goaltender for Team USA. Greg, what's it gonna take to beat these feisty Icelanders, tonight? Goldberg: I think it will take a supreme individual effort, by me, Greg Goldberg. Coach Bombay: Hey. How are you feeling today, Goldberg? Goldberg: Lean and mean! Goldberg: Hey uhh... how do you say in Italiano, wussy? Dwayne: Where I come from we treat ladies with respect! Connie: Thank you, Dwayne, but I'm no lady. I'M A DUCK! [after the final Iceland vs. USA game] Wolf Stansson: Gunnar, you lost it for me. Gunnar Stahl: You lost it for yourself. Lester Averman: Aw, I smell something. Lester Averman, Goldberg, Jesse, Charlie, Adam: Goldberg! Goldberg: It wasn't me! Dean: No, it was me! [Facing off in practice] Dwayne: Great day for hockey, ain't it? Jesse: Sure is, cowboy. [Seeing Dwayne for the first time]
: Yee-haw! How's everybody? Y'all ready to play some puck? Goldberg: Hey, look, it's Hop-Along Gretzky! [Dean Portman takes the ice] Coach Bombay: That guy's a teenager? Don Tibbles: Uh, yeah, hormones. Coach Bombay: He's a goon! Wolf Stansson: What happened to freedom of speech? Isn't this America? Charlie: Hey, you got a girl in the stands? Adam: Scouts, man. Lookit 'em. Charlie: Don't worry about scouts, Adam. Just do your best. Coach Bombay: Ah, we've got a game against Italy, so I'll talk to you right after we win! Fulton: Lil' tuneage to go to sleep by? Dean: Yeah. [Fulton turns on loud rock music] Dean: Sweet dreams, dude! Coach Bombay: What it is, it's a loafer. And we'll call it the Air-Bombay Loafer; "For kids who want to coach!" Lester Averman: Hey, is that a tattoo? Is it real? Dean: Get away from me. Lester Averman: Yes sir. Russ Tyler: Hey... Goldberg! I bet if that puck was a cheeseburger, you'd stop it! Hahaha! Coach Bombay: Hans couldn't make it? Jan: Now don't get me started with that strudel head! He went back to the old country. He wanted to see our mother. She loved him more, you know! [on the Iceland players] Lester Averman: They're bigger! They're stronger! They're faster! They've got more facial hair! [talking about Luis Mendoza] Connie Moreau: Good lookin' skater. Les Averman: Very good lookin'. What do you think, Guy? Guy Germaine: Shut up, Averman. Coach Bombay: I've had a lot of distractions since I've been here in L.A. [holds up a cardboard cutout of himself] Coach Bombay: This is a distraction. [the Ducks snicker. Bombay lights a match and throws it into a barrel] Coach Bombay: This is a fire-in-a-barrel. [places the cutout in the barrel] Coach Bombay: This is a distraction-in-a-fire-in-a-barrel. Any questions? [at the Junior Goodwill Games, when Team USA is on the Podium] Wolf Stansson: Team USA's going down, that's where you're going. [Stanson and Bombay are plaing three-bar] Coach Bombay:
One more post and you go home crying. By the way Stanson, you owe me a beachball!