advertisement DS Jimmy Beck: He's throwin' fits, Fitz! Fitz: I'm in custody, CUSTODY! Fitz: Gamblers Anonymous? That's created by wankers, for wankers! Judith: Graham is the leader in the local chapter. Fitz: I rest my case. [after Penhaligon pours a jug of water over him] Fitz: Anglo-Saxon Foreplay. Go up to my bedroom my dear. If I'm not up in half an hour, get along without me. [on two Skinheads' urinary habits] Fitz: You're the artistic kind - it goes everywhere. You're the Luke Skywalker type - straight like a lazer beam. I can't help but take a look - people usually find it disgusting ... Skinhead: You looking for a broken nose, pal? Fitz: Yeah, You know someone who can give me one, pal? [At a supermarket checkout] Old Woman: Execuse me... eight items! Fitz: I have eight items! Three bottles of whiskey constitutes ONE ITEM! 2 loaves of bread constitutes ONE ITEM! 6 frozen lasagnas constitutes ONE ITEM! Old Woman: SIX? Fitz: Two dozen eggs constitutes ONE ITEM ... Old Woman: Security! Fitz: Four steak and kidney bastard pies constitutes ONE ITEM! [Security is called] Fitz: Oh, for God's sake ... Teacher: Please don't smoke sir, this is a school. Fitz: That's where I started. [Dean keeps looking at Beck through his fingers] Beck: Do that one more time and I'll rip you're bloody hands off! Fitz: So - you don't drink, you don't smoke, and you don't gamble. What do you do then? C'mon Michael, there must be something for you to confess! A little wank on the sofa during Baywatch isn't a mortal sin! [to Beck] Fitz: You're a bit like a doctor, aren't you? Beck: Sorry? Fitz: You tend to bury your mistakes. [to a waiter at a restaurant where Judith and Graham are on a date] Fitz: It's really very sad - see, I'm a psychologist, and she's one of my patients. Judith: I'm NOT your patient, Fitz! I'm your wife! Fitz: Oh yeah! Hi there - didn't recognize you without your straight jacket! Fitz: Think of testicles! Penhaligon: I do nothing but! Penhaligon: To be left at the airport, Fitz, that's one thing. But to be left by a big, fat, egocentric, middle-aged man, well, that's a different thing altogether. Fitz: I didn't mind the big. Penhaligon: You're an emotional rapist, Fitz. Priest: It must be hard to maintain that level of cynicism, Dr. Fitzgerald. Fitz: Not at all, Father. It must be hard to maintain that level of faith. Fitz: I drink too much, I smoke too much, I gamble too much. I *am* too much.