Ned Riffle: I want adventure. I want romance. Bill McCabe: Ned, there is no such thing as adventure. There's no such thing as romance. There's only trouble and desire. Ned Riffle: Trouble and desire. Bill McCabe: That's right. And the funny thing is, when you desire something you immediately get into trouble. And when you're in trouble you don't desire anything at all. Ned Riffle: I see. Bill McCabe: It's impossible. Ned Riffle: It's ironic. Bill McCabe: It's a fucking tragedy is what it is, Ned. Ned: What is that thing? Bill: That's the Blessed Virgin, Ned. Ned: She's pretty, huh? Bill: Not only is she pretty, but she's got a nice personality, and she's the mother of God. Sheriff: Why do women exist? Ned: Nothing like a machine to make a man feel insignificant.