Blind Man:
What do you have?
Charles:
I don't have Laura.
Sam:
What do you want from a child her age? She never even went to Woodstock!
Charles:
Neither did we.
Sam:
But we *could* have.
Charles:
That's true.
Susan:
Listen, Woodstock was just a bunch of naked stoners looking for a place to pee. I saw the movie!
Clara:
[at Thanksgiving dinner] How are you parents, Sam? Where are they living?
Sam:
Well, my fathers living in an apartment on Lee Road and my mother's still in the house.
Clara:
Did you hear that Charles? Sam's parents aren't living together!
Charles:
You knew that, mom! Sam's parents haven't lived together since Sam and I were in the eighth grade.
Clara:
I certainly did not know that! That must make you very sad, Sam.
Sam:
I'm accustomed to it.
Clara:
Brave boy!
Charles:
Do you want me to get the food, mother?
Clara:
What food?
Charles:
The turkey!
Clara:
There isn't any turkey.
Charles:
Well, whatever it is that you prepared, would you like me to go into the kitchen and get it?
Clara:
I didn't prepare anything. There isn't any dinner. Ha ha. There isn't any dinner!
Sam:
I guess the joke's on us.
Clara:
[laughing hysterically] That's right. The joke's on you!
Charles:
That's a nice ribbon in your hair.
Clara:
Well, I told the nurse that it was like the song. "Tie a yellow ribbon 'round the old oak tree."
[starts to sing]
Mrs. DeLillo:
[wearing a green ribbon] And I say tie a green ribbon 'round the old oak tree.
Clara:
Mine's a real song!
Pete:
Mommy sure does know her music, doesn't she?
Mrs. DeLillo:
[angrily] Huh!
Pete:
Mrs. DeLillo knows her music, too.
Mrs. DeLillo:
Thank you so much.
Blind Man:
What do you want?
Charles:
[laughing crazily] What do I want? I wanna marry Laura. I thought everybody knew that. I'd even settle for living with her. What do I want? Let's talk about what I have. You know what I have? I have, I have... an unemployed jacket salesman living in my spare room, I have a mother that won't get out of the bathtub, I have a sister that always wants me to be happy, I have a stepfather that wants me to take disco lessons and I have a secretary that wants me to throw parties so that she can make dips. And I have this boss that wants *me* to give his son advice on his sexual problems!
Blind Man:
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You've been up all night. That only makes things look worse.
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Charles:
Yeah? I really thought I was having a nervous breakdown for a second there.
Blind Man:
[sympathetically] Oh, sure!
Charles:
[listening to Janis Joplin's 'Get It While You Can'] Janis, how can I get it if she won't come out of her A-frame?
Laura:
Well, I haven't felt "terrific" in a long time.
Charles:
If I make you feel terrific, will you marry me?
Betty:
[collecting her boss's work] Is this all you have?
Charles:
That's a profound question!
Betty:
What?
Charles:
That's all I have.
Charles:
What's your name?
Laura:
Laura Connelly
Charles:
What a...
Laura:
[finishing his sentence] "What a beautiful name."
Charles:
No, no. I wasn't gonna say that. I wasn't gonna say "What a beautiful name." I was gonna say "What a coincidence!"
Laura:
What?
Charles:
That your name is Laura. My name is Charles.
Laura:
I don't get it. What's the coincidence?
Charles:
There isn't any. Just wanted to tell you my name.
Charles:
[walking into Laura's unfurnished apartment] I thought maybe this might be your minimalist period.
Charles:
Could you imagine living with a man named Ox?
Susan:
Yes, if she's happy.
Charles:
She's not happy.
Susan:
Are you happy?
Charles:
What's happy?
Charles:
The day my grandfather killed himself, he went hunting and shot two grouse. After the funeral, my grandmother cleaned and cooked the grouse.
Charles:
[examining a movie poster for a skin flick] You're prettier than she is.
Laura:
Now I'm prettier than a porno star. Would you stop it?
Charles:
Stop what?
Laura:
We go to movies and you say I look better than the movie stars. We go to the best restaurant in town and you say I'm a better cook than the chef. You have this exulted view of me and I hate it. If you think I'm that great, there must be something wrong with you.
Charles:
I thought you said you were on the trampoline team in high school.
Laura:
I was on the trampoline team in high school.
Charles:
That must have been before it became a competitive sport.
Laura:
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I never said I was any good you know. See, I had these terrible bow-legs. Somebody told me if you jump on the trampoline a lot, it'll straighten out your bow-legs.
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Charles:
How can jumping on a trampoline straighten out bow-legs?
Laura:
I was misinformed!
Mrs. DeLillo:
The Lord have mercy on your soul.
Charles:
Thank you.
Mrs. DeLillo:
Do you smoke?
Blind Man:
What've you got?
Charles:
I haven't got Laura.复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制
