Mrs. Patroni: Well, the first stewardess is at the controls, but she... she's in constant touch with the tower. Barney: You mean THE STEWARDESS IS FLYING THE PLANE? Mrs. Patroni: [whispering] Would you please keep your voice down. Barney: S-s-sure... [Barney becomes hysterical] Barney: The stewardess is flying the plane. The stewardess... [Mrs Devanvey hands Barney a large Whiskey] Mrs Devaney: here... Barney: Thank you Mrs Devaney, but I don't drink. Mrs Devaney: [Looking confused] Well what difference does it make now? Barney: You're right. [Barney takes drink from Mrs Devaney and takes gulp of Whiskey] Barney: No difference. Alan Murdock: Look baby I've only got half an hour. Can't we talk it out when you get to LA? Nancy Pryor: Don't miss your flight, Murdock. You wouldn't want to keep that boss of yours waiting. Gloria Swanson: ...my life's a surprise, one surprise after another. Mr. Kelly: You look lovely Miss Swanson. Gloria Swanson: Thank you Mr Kelly, fancy getting gussied up like this to watch a load of Supreme Court judges chew. Bill: That's enough of that for you. The convention's over. I want you to taper off. Bill: No more! Sam: You should've stuck to the Blue Nun. Arnie: We've got a plane to catch, Sammy boy! Bill: [Drunk] We've got a plane! Arnie: Bartender, another one all around. Bill: No more! Sam: [sings] California here I come right back where! [Glass shatters - Mrs Devaney has her drinking glass knocked out of her hand at the airport by Sam] Sam: I'm sorry, I didn't mean that. Oh excuse me... Bill: Oh Sammy! I'm sorry he's a little sloshed. You know what I mean?... Listen, we'd like to buy you a drink. Mrs. Devaney: Well, maybe a little bourbon on the rocks. Bill: You got it. Nurse, bourbon on the rocks for the lady, please. Mrs. Devaney: With a small beer chaser. Arnie: Jesus Christ, a boilermaker. Bill: This thing will never get off the ground. Never fly. Take my word for it. Gloria Swanson: Young man, you think this thing will not fly? In 1917 I was flying in something wilder than this. Do you know who the pilot was? Bill: Wiley Pos
t? Gloria Swanson: [Chuckles] No. Cecil B. De Mille and we flew from Hollywood nonstop to Pasadena. Yes, and on the way home we did loop the loops so I could see the moon upside down. [Mrs Devaney talks to a very worried passenger seated next to her] Mrs. Devaney: You're a tiny bit nervous aren't you? [man nods his head] Mrs. Devaney: I know. I've flown thousands of miles under very difficult circumstances, I assure you, you have nothing to worried about. [Man frantically tries to undo his seat belt, Mrs Devaney assists] Mrs. Devaney: May I? [Man rushes to lavatory] Barney: Mrs Devaney? Mrs Devaney? Mrs. Devaney: Er, yes? Barney: Salt Lake City could be very good for you. It's dry there you know? Mrs. Devaney: DRY? Captain Stacy: I hear we expect a bumpy ride tonight. Urias: I used to know a stewardess who thought that was sexy. Captain Stacy: You're weird, you know that? [Janice Abbott settles onto her bed in first class] Mrs. Abbott: Please, Janice. Remember what the doctor said - you must lie still, very still. Janice Abbott: I know, Mother, but it's so exciting! The people are so interesting! [commenting on Janice's medical condition] Airport Attendant: The poor kid! She's in Washington and her kidney is in Los Angeles. [Nancy tries to communicate with the nearest airport after the mid-air collision] Nancy Pryor: Salt Lake... Salt Lake! This is Columbia 409! It's Nancy Pryor... stewardess. Something hit us! All the flight crew is dead or badly injured! There's no one left to fly the plane! Help us! Oh my God, help us! [in reference to Gloria Swanson at the Airport] Sister Ruth: Who is she Sister Beatrice, do you recognise her? [In a very disapproving tone] Sister Beatrice: I believe its one of those Hollywood persons. Sister Ruth: Oh, you mean an actress? Sister Beatrice: Or worse! Winnie: Oh, it's so beautiful! Gloria Swanson: Every morning is beautiful, you're just too young to know! Gloria Swanson: The mountains - we're so close! Carol: What is going to happen? Nancy Pryor: We're going to land the plane somehow. Bette: Nancy? Nancy Pryor: [In reference to the plane being at a lower altitude in relation to the top of the mountains] OH MY GOD! Bette we're too low.
: What are you supposed to do? Nancy Pryor: I don't know... I know they are worried about airspeed. Now... if we climb, the airspeed drops. I could stall us out. Bette: The Captain! He said he could help us. Captain Stacy: Thrust levers. Bette: Thrust levers, what about them? Captain Stacy: Forward... an inch. Bette: All right, anything else? Captain Stacy: One-ninety hold. Captain Stacy: One nine zero airspeed. Scott Freeman: What's the weather like there? Mrs. Scott Freeman: Well the moon's out right now, but there are a few clouds around. [Recalling her days being a rebel with other actresses against studio pressure in Hollywood, while on the plane] Gloria Swanson: That's easy, Carole Lombard and Grace Moore, I was a rebel too. Gary: Would you hold this please, I'll take care of Miss Swanson. Good Evening, right this way please. Gloria Swanson: Thank you. Nancy Pryor: Good Evening Miss Swanson. Gloria Swanson: Good Evening. I mean, good morning! Gary: Right here, Miss Swanson. Gloria Swanson: [In reference to her bomb proof case] Oh yes, put it under my feet. Thank you very much. Gary: It's a pleasure to have with us, Miss Swanson. If there;s anything I can do for you, just let me know. Gloria Swanson: I shall. Sister Beatrice: Never mind her Sister, put your ticket away. Sister Ruth: Yes sister. Nancy Pryor: Miss Swanson, would you like something from the bar? Gloria Swanson: No I have my own, tea. Nancy Pryor: Miss Griffith? Winnie: Yes a Martini please. [securing items in her bomb-proof case] Gloria Swanson: To hell with the jewelry, let's put my book in here! Gloria Swanson: Oh. My jewel case. It's bomb proofed, the insurance people insisted upon it. Oh. My idea of heaven is never to have to pack or unpack. Why didn't I think of that before. Here. Here. You know what? The hell with the jewelry let's put my book in here. Thank you. Here you are my darlings, it's all yours - I never wanted to have the damn thing published when I was alive anyway. [in reference to Janice Abbott arriving on the stretcher] Gloria Swanson: Oh how bless I am, three children, seven grandchildren and all healthy thank God! Gloria Swanson: I guess everyone had given up hope including the Doctors. Nobody expected me to live, but then I've never done anything I was expected to do.