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Zubin Khan:
For the first time ever, the NHS has more managers than beds. Did you know that?
Helen Grant:
Your point?
Zubin Khan:
I've got a rather revolutionary idea. You can take it to your next Trust meeting if you like. Get the managers down on all-fours, throw blankets over them - and hey presto!
Ric Griffin:
[to Helen Grant] People management. Not really your forté, is it?
Connie Beauchamp:
Unless Tom Campbell-Gore is wearing my skirt and heels, I'm in charge here.
Mark Williams:
The drinks are on me.
Chrissie Williams:
Who do you think you are? The Milky Bar Kid?
Connie Beauchamp:
Do you get altitude sickness?
Will Curtis:
What?
Connie Beauchamp:
From your moral high ground.
Rosie Sattar:
I'm There's something I'm missing. Oh, yeah, a baby. Pass me the yellow pages.
[Will and Mubbs are carrying out an operation that Connie has specifically ordered them not to carry out]
Will Curtis:
We need to get through this as quickly as possible - every minute on the table is putting an extra strain on her heart.
Mubbs Hussein:
It's not something I can rush. If I deliver too much fluid or too quickly it may cause the placenta to detach.
Will Curtis:
It's Connie detaching my testicles that I'm concerned about.
Zubin Khan:
Mrs Beauchamp, I have to admit that you have the leadership skills of an eight-year-old with a Kalashnikov.
[gossiping about Connie]
Lisa Fox:
Her husband's just been made chairman of the board.
Donna Jackson:
Husband? I thought they just plugged her into the mains at the end of each day.
[to Matt who has just terrified a patient by using lots of incomprehensible medical terms when she asked "What's wrong with me"]
Zubin Khan:
Next time you go anywhere near a reference book, look up the term "layman".
[to Matt, after a patient has disappeared from her bed to give herself a fix of morphine]
Lola Griffin:
Matthew... Ever played Hunt-the-Patient?
[repeated line]
Lola Griffin:
As my late lamented grandmother used to say...
Lola Griffin:
As my grandma used to say, "If you look for a peck of trouble, don't gripe when you find a bushel."
Ric Griffin:
[sarcastically] As ever, your grandma's wisdom astounds me.
Lola Griffin:
As Grandma used to say, "All mouth and no trousers makes Jack a dull boy".
Ric Griffin:
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38
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Is it possible your grandma was a little confused?
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c2f
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[reading patients' comment cards in the family-planning clinic]
Mickie Hendrie:
[smirking] We've got some really good comments.
Donna Jackson:
"I never knew you could get free condoms here. Now I won't have to re-use my old ones." How gross is that?
Connie Beauchamp:
And if you ever speak to me like that again, I'll make sure the closest theatre you get to is a box office.
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