Colonel Frank Fitts: Where did you get that?
Ricky Fitts: From my job.
Colonel Frank Fitts: Don't lie to me. Now, I saw you with him.
Ricky Fitts: You were watching me?
Colonel Frank Fitts: What did he make you do?
Ricky Fitts: Oh, Dad, you don't really think that me and Mr. Burnham were...
Colonel Frank Fitts: Don't you laugh at me. Now, I will not sit back and watch my only son become a cock-sucker.
Ricky Fitts: Jesus, what is it with you?
Colonel Frank Fitts: I swear to God, I will throw you out of the house and never look at you again.
Ricky Fitts: You mean that?
Colonel Frank Fitts: You're damn straight I do. I'd rather you were dead than be a fuckin' faggot.
Ricky Fitts: You're right. I suck dick for money.
Colonel Frank Fitts: Boy, don't start.
Ricky Fitts: Two thousand dollars - I'm that good.
Colonel Frank Fitts: Get out.
Ricky Fitts: And you should see me fuck. I'm the best piece of ass in three States.
Colonel Frank Fitts: Get out. I don't ever want to see you again.
Ricky Fitts: What a sad old man you are.
Lester Burnham: Remember those posters that said, "Today is the first day of the rest of your life?" Well, that's true with every day except one: the day that you die.
Lester Burnham: No, Brad; I'm just an ordinary guy who has nothing left to lose.
Carolyn Burnham: Your father and I were just discussing his day at work. Why don't you tell our daughter about it, honey?
Lester Burnham: Janie, today I quit my job. And then I told my boss to go fuck himself, and then I blackmailed him for almost sixty thousand dollars. Pass the asparagus.
Carolyn Burnham: Your father seems to think this type of behavior is something to be proud of.
Lester Burnham: And your mother seems to prefer I go through life like a fucking prisoner while she keeps my dick in a mason jar under the sink.
Carolyn Burnham: How dare you speak to me that way in front of her. And I marvel that you can be so contemptuous of me, on the same day that you LOSE your job.
Lester Burnham: Lose it? I didn't lose it. It's not like, "Whoops! Where'd my job go?" I QUIT.
Carolyn Burnham: Don't you mess with me, mister, or I'll divorce you so fast it'll make your head spin!
Lester Burnham: On what grounds? I'm not a drunk, I don't fuck other women, I've never hit you, I don't mistreat you... I don't even try to touch you since you've made it so abundantly clear how unnecessary you consider me to be! But I did support you when you got your license, and some people might think that entitles me to half of what's yours. So, turn off the light when you come to bed!