Lee:
Yes. The final supreme idiocy. Coming here to hide. The deserter hiding out in the middle of a battlefield.
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Vin:
We deal in lead friend.
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Chico:
But who made us the way we are, huh? Men with guns. Men like Calvera, and men like you... and now me.
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Calvera:
If God didn't want them sheared, he would not have made them sheep.
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Hilario:
Even if we had the guns, we know how to plant and grow, we don't know how to kill.
Old Man:
Then learn, or die!
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Chamlee:
I'm sorry, friend, but there'll be no funeral.
Henry:
What?
Chamlee:
Oh, the grave is dug and the defunct there is as ready as the embalmers ought to make him. But there'll be no funeral.
Henry:
What's the matter? Didn't I pay enough?
Chamlee:
It's not a question of money. For twenty dollars, I'd plant anybody with a hoop and a holler. But the funeral is off.
Henry:
Now how do you like that. I want him buried, you want him buried and if he could sit up and talk, he'd second the motion. Now that's as unanimous as you can get.
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Chamlee:
There's an element in town that objects.
Henry:
Objects? Objects to what?
Chamlee:
They say he isn't fit to be buried there.
Robert:
What? In Boot Hill?
Henry:
Why, there's nothing up there but murderous cutthroats and derelict old barflies, and if they ever felt exclusive brother, they're past it now.
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Chamlee:
I don't like it, no sir. I've always treated every man the same: just as another, future customer.
Henry:
Well in that case, get that hearse rolling.
Chamlee:
I can't, my driver's quit!
Robert:
He's prejudiced too, huh?
Chamlee:
Well, when it comes to a chance of getting his head blown off, he's downright bigoted.
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[Chris and Vin were just shot at, hitting the tip of Chris' cigar]
Vin:
You elected?
Chris:
Na. I got nominated real good.
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Chris:
There's a job for six men, watching over a village, south of the border.
O'Reilly:
How big's the opposition?
Chris:
Thirty guns.
O'Reilly:
I admire your notion of fair odds, mister.
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[Britt has just shot a fleeing bandit off his horse]
Chico:
Ah, that was the greatest shot I've ever seen.
Britt:
The worst! I was aiming at the horse.
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[O'Reilly is teaching the villagers how to shoot]
O'Reilly:
Miguel, didn't I tell you to squeeze? Hm? Just like when you're milking a goat, Miguel.
Miguel:
It's that I get excited!
O'Reilly:
Well don't get excited! Now this time squeeze. Slowly, but squeeze. All right now, squeeze.
[Miguel shoots]
O'Reilly:
*Squeeze*! I'll tell you what. Don't shoot the gun. Take the gun like this, and you use it like a club, all right?
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Old Man:
They are all farmers. Farmers talk of nothing but fertilizer and women. I've never shared their enthusiasm for fertilizer. As for women, I became indifferent when I was eighty-three.
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Vin:
One of the men has made room for you in his home.
Old Man:
His conversation would bore me to death!
Vin:
Well, maybe somebody else then.
Old Man:
They are all farmers. They talk of nothing but fertilizer and women. I have never shared their interest for fertilizer. And women, well, I became indifferent when I was 83.
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Old Man:
You worry about yourself. Are you ready for him?
[refers to Calvera]
Old Man:
What if he comes now, huh?
Vin:
Reminds me of that fellow back home that fell off a ten story building.
Chris:
What about him?
Vin:
Well, as he was falling people on each floor kept hearing him say, "So far, so good." Tch... So far, so good!
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Village Boy 1:
If you get killed, we take the rifle and avenge you.
Village Boy 2:
And we see to it there's always fresh flowers on your grave.
O'Reilly:
That's a mighty big comfort.
Village Boy 2:
I told you he'll appreciate that!
O'Reilly:
Well, now don't you kids be too disappointed if your plans don't work out.
Village Boy 1:
We won't. If you stay alive, we'll be just as happy.
Village Boy 2:
Maybe even happier.
Village Boy 1:
Maybe.
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[Calvera has just captured the Seven]
Calvera:
What I don't understand is why a man like you took the job in the first place, hmm? Why, huh?
Chris:
I wonder myself.
Calvera:
No, come on, come on, tell me why.
Vin:
It's like a fellow I once knew in El Paso. One day, he just took all his clothes off and jumped in a mess of cactus. I asked him that same question, "Why?"
Calvera:
And?
Vin:
He said, "It seemed to be a good idea at the time."
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Village Boy 2:
We're ashamed to live here. Our fathers are cowards.
O'Reilly:
Don't you ever say that again about your fathers, because they are not cowards. You think I am brave because I carry a gun; well, your fathers are much braver because they carry responsibility, for you, your brothers, your sisters, and your mothers. And this responsibility is like a big rock that weighs a ton. It bends and it twists them until finally it buries them under the ground. And there's nobody says they have to do this. They do it because they love you, and because they want to. I have never had this kind of courage. Running a farm, working like a mule every day with no guarantee anything will ever come of it. This is bravery. That's why I never even started anything like that... that's why I never will.
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[the village Calvera's raiding has changed]
Calvera:
New wall.
Chris:
There are lots of new walls, all around.
Calvera:
They won't keep me out!
Chris:
They were built to keep you in.
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[last lines]
Chris:
The old man was right. Only the farmers won. We lost. We always lose.
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Calvera:
I should have guessed. When my men didn't come back I should have guessed. How many of you did they hire?
Chris:
Enough!
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Calvera:
[dying - to Chris] You came back - for a place like this. Why? A man like you. Why?
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[Villagers tell Chris they collected everything of value in their village to hire gunmen]
Chris Adams:
I have been offered a lot for my work, but never everything.
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Chris:
I've been offered a lot for my work, but never everything.
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Chris:
You forget one thing. We took a contract.
Vin:
It's sure not the kind any court would enforce.
Chris:
That's just the kind you've got to keep.
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Calvera:
Generosity... that was my first mistake. I leave these people a little bit extra, and then they hire these men to make trouble. It shows you, sooner or later, you must answer for every good deed.
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Calvera:
Now, to business! I could kill you all. You agree?
[Dead silence]
Calvera:
Well, you don't disagree!
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Chris:
Bring them in.
[refering to the women]
Chico:
What for? Let Calvera find them, he'll take good care of them.
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Chris:
[referring to Calvera] If he rides in with no idea of the reception we can prepare for him, I promise you we'll all teach him something about the price of corn!
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[Referring to Britt]
Villager:
If he's the best with the gun and the knife, with whom does he compete?
Chris:
Himself.
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Hilario:
The feeling I felt in my chest this morning, when I saw Calvera run away from us, that's a feeling worth dying for. Have you ever felt something like that?
Vin:
Not for a long, long time. I envy you.
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Hilario:
We'll fight with guns if we have them. If we don't, with machetes, axes, clubs, anything!
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Chris:
There's no need to apologize. We weren't expecting flowers and speeches.
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Calvera:
Last month we were in San Juan. Rich town. Sit down. Rich town, much blessed by God. Big church. Not like here - little church, priest comes twice a year. BIG one. You'd think we'd find gold candlesticks. Poor box filled to overflowing. Do you know what we found? Brass candlesticks. Almost nothing in the poor box.
Sidekick:
But we took it anyway.
Calvera:
I KNOW we took it anyway. I'm trying to show him how little religion some people now have.
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Henry:
This man needs to be buried. And soon. He's not turning into any nosegay.
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Henry:
Well I'll be damned. I never knew you had to be anything but a corpse to get into Boot Hill. How long's this been going?
Chamlee:
Since the town got civilized.
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Hilario:
Very young, and very proud.
Chris:
Well, the graveyards are full of boys who were very young, and very proud.
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Chris:
Morning. I'm a friend of Harry Luck's. He tells me you're broke.
O'Reilly:
[chopping wood] Nah. I'm doing this because I'm an eccentric millionaire.
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Vin:
Twenty dollars? You must be living in style.
Lee:
Yes... I have the most stylish corner of the filthy storeroom out back. That and one plate of beans. Ten dollars a day.
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Chris:
He's a good gun, and we aren't heading for a church social.
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Chris:
Nah leave him alone. It's a free country.
O'Reilly:
And it's his.
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Vin:
You know - I've been in some towns where the girls weren't all that pretty. In fact I've been in some towns where they're downright ugly. But it's the first time I've been in a town where there are no girls at all, 'cept little ones. You know if we're not careful we could have quite a social life here.
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Chico:
They're afraid. She's afraid of me, you, him. All of us. Farmers! Their families told them we would rape them.
Chris:
Well we might. But in my opinion you might have given us the benefit of the doubt. But just as you please...
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Vin:
What're you gonna do when Calvera comes?
Old Man:
At my age, a little excitement is welcome. Don't worry. Why would he kill me? Bullets cost money.
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Calvera:
Somehow I don't think you've solved my problem.
Chris:
Solving your problems isn't our line.
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Chico:
Villages like this they make up a song about every big thing that happens. Sing them for years.
Chris Adams:
You think it's worth it?
Chico:
Don't you?
Chris Adams:
It's only a matter of knowing how to shoot a gun. Nothing big about that.
Chico:
Hey. How can you talk like this? Your gun has got you everything you have. Isn't that true? Hmm? Well, isn't that true?
Vin:
Yeah, sure. Everything. After awhile you can call bartenders and faro dealers by their first name - maybe two hundred of 'em! Rented rooms you live in - five hundred! Meals you eat in hash houses - a thousand! Home - none! Wife - none! Kids... none! Prospects - zero. Suppose I left anything out?
Chris Adams:
Yeah. Places you're tied down to - none. People with a hold on you - none. Men you step aside for - none.
Lee:
Insults swallowed - none. Enemies - none.
Chris Adams:
No enemies?
Lee:
Alive.
Chico:
Well. This is the kind of arithmetic I like.
Chris Adams:
Yeah. So did I at your age.
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Chris:
[Chris has discovered Lee waiting for him in his room] Thought you were looking for the Johnson brothers?
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Lee:
I found them.
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[Chris is driving the hearse up to Boot Hill; Vin is riding shotgun]
Chris:
We'll get there.
Vin:
It's not getting up there that bothers me. It's staying up there that I mind.
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Harry Luck:
I heard you got a contract open.
Chris:
Well, not for a high-stepper like you.
Harry Luck:
A dollar bill always looks as big to me as a bedspread.
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[Chris and the villagers are in the bar]
Sotero:
There's one - look at the scars on his face!
Hilario:
The man for us is the one who GAVE him that face.
Chris:
Hey. You learn fast.
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[as they ride to the village, Chico is following them]
Vin:
Riding out there in all that dust and heat... what a chucklehead.
Chris:
Yep. Not smart like us.
Vin:
Yep.
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Vin:
You know the first time I took a job as a hired gun, fellow told me, "Vin, you can't afford to care." There's your problem.
Chris:
One thing I don't need is somebody telling me my problem.
Vin:
Like I said before, that's your problem. You got involved in this village and the people in it.
Chris:
Do you ever get tired of hearing yourself talk?
Vin:
The reason I understand your problem so well is that I walked in the same trap myself. Yeah. First day we got here, I started thinking: Maybe I could put my gun away, settle down, get a little land, raise some cattle. Things that these people know about me be to my credit - wouldn't work against me. I just didn't want you to think you were the only sucker in town.
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[as the seven are about to leave the village]
Calvera:
You'll do much better on the other side of the border. There you can steal cattle, hold up trains... all you have to face is sheriff, marshall. Once I rob a bank in Texas; your government get after me with a whole army... whole army! One little bank. Is clear the meaning: in Texas, only Texans can rob banks. Ha ha.
[they look at him in silence]
Calvera:
Adios!
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[as Chris, Vin and Chico are about to leave the village]
Old Man:
You could a-stay, you know. They wouldn't be sorry to have you a-stay.
Vin:
They won't be sorry to see us go, either.
Old Man:
Yes. The fighting is over. Your work is done. For them, each season has its tasks. If there were a season for gratitude, they'd show it more.
Vin:
We didn't get any more than we expected, old man.
Old Man:
Only the farmers have won. They remain forever. They are like the land itself. You helped rid them of Calvera, the way a strong wind helps rid them of locusts. You're like the wind - blowing over the land and... passing on. Vaya con dios.
Chris:
Adios.
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[Chris and Vin enter thier room, to see Lee sitting there, waiting]
Lee:
Remember me?
Chris Adams:
Yup.
Lee:
You need men for a job in Mexico? How long?
Chris Adams:
Four, maybe six weeks.
Lee:
That ought to do it. How much does the job pay?
Chris Adams:
I thought you were looking for the Johnson brothers, Lee.
Lee:
[smirking] I found them. Now, how much does the job pay?
Chris Adams:
Twenty dollars.
Lee:
I'll have the money before I leave. It should just take care of my last two days' rent.
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Chico:
[berating the villagers] Thank you, thank you... you... chickens!
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Harry Luck:
[Dying words] Well, I'll be damned.
Chris Adams:
Maybe you won't be.
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Calvera:
We have a saying here: a thief who steals from a thief is pardoned for one hundred years.
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Britt:
Nobody throws me my own guns and says run. Nobody.
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Vin:
It took me a long, long time to learn my elbow from a hot rock. Right now, I belong back in that border town sleeping on white sheets.
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Wallace:
You tell 'em! I won, didn't I?
Britt:
You lost.
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