Screw-On Head: It's as I always say, all really intelligent people should be cremated for reasons of public safety. Emperor Zombie:
You're no fun! Picky little professor keeping Gung's secrets all to himself!
President Abraham Lincoln: The nature of this investigation has become much too personal. We're dealing with undead perversions of the only woman you ever loved and your most trusted manservant who vowed to do away with all subsequent menservant in the cruelest means imaginable! Screw-On Head: America is depending on me, Mr. President! And by America, I mean the world. Emperor Zombie: I'm so excited I just made water in my pantaloons! Gung: Foolish mortals! Emperor Zombie: [shoots Gung] Do I look mortal to you? Emperor Zombie: Here it is! Bangang Pagro-Esh. The left eye of Nog. The jewel worshipped by the wizards of Mu and the black priests of Atlantis, finally passed down to Gung the Magnificent who was chosen by the gods to conquer the world with it! And now, it's my... Ew! [drops the artifact, which is a turnip] Emperor Zombie: It's not a jewel! It's a dirty old piece of crap! Emperor Zombie: I'm merely expressing gratitude! Screw-On Head: Perhaps you might express in apology? Emperor Zombie: [laughing] Oh no, he didn't! Apologize to you? Pardon me if I say poppycock! Screw-On Head: Then say it! Emperor Zombie: Poppycock. Screw-On Head: You let America down... Emperor Zombie: You let me down. You went on and on about how sweet the candy was, then told me not to put it in my mouth, and got mad at me when I did. Screw-On Head: If by "candy," you mean ancient forbidden evil, then yes, I told you not to put it in your mouth. Patience the Vampire: I think your forbidden evil is fresh as a daisy. Emperor Zombie: Thank you, darling. Emperor Zombie: There's only one way to truly know everything you know. Professor Fruen: Ask politely? Emperor Zombie: I'm going... to smoke you. Emperor Zombie: Any last words before I spark it? Aggie: My arm's getting tired. The Demigod: Time to begin the horror. Emperor Zombie: By all means, let's! Emperor Zombie, how do you do? I'm here to advise you on dispensing horror in this modern military climate. I understand you're a demigod, that's fantastic! The Demigod: Oh, I don't know about fantastic... Emperor Zombie: I do! If I may be so bold? The Demigod: Be bold. I command you! Emperor Zombie:
I have an impressive resume in the service industry, as the man you just crushed can testify. I have been looking for a master worthy of my servitude, and baby, you are it! There's artillery now, big guns that shoot giant rocks that bruise and dismember, which is why you need artillery, too.