[first lines] Professor Ackerman: Unprecedented, historical categories. More Americans died in the so-called Civil War than in the two World Wars combined. 618,000. Although popular media usually portrays the Civil War as a series of epic battles for honor and glory the reality is far from either. General Sherman's march through South Carolina alone cost over 8,000 innocent Southerners their lives. Anderson Lee: I love the smell of cow shit in the morning. Take it all in boys. Sniff it. All right, all right, all right. I know what I am gonna write my term paper on. "Cow Shit of the South: The Smell of Victory." Nelson Elliot: Dudes! The whole point was getting away from history class. Anderson Lee: [looking at a map] The way I see it... if we drive through the night we'll be quaffing beers by noon and boffing chicks by 5:00. Gas Station Attendant: Pushin' up daisies by midnight. Rufus: Any more luggage, boy? Malcolm: Boy? Ain't y'all motherfuckers ever heard of the Civil Rights Movement? Rufus: Is that like anything like a bowel movement? Kat: Is this some hillbilly reality show type of thing? Harper Alexander: You know this is Georgia, Miss Pussycat. Harper Alexander: My daddy proposed to my mama right here on this spot. Kat: My daddy proposed to my mom in the back of a '69 Chevy. Kat: I think this might be taking it just a little bit too far. Harper Alexander: Frankly, Miss Pussy, I don't give a damn. Rufus: Now. Daddy. Daddy, don't mind Lester none. I got full confidence in him. Mayor Buckman: Son, one time I had full confidence in a fart. Shit all over myself. [Ricky is about to get skewered] Mayor Buckman: I see our barb-a-cuties got the skewering rod raring to go. Malcolm: Pleasant Valley. Hmm. More like Death Valley. Malcolm: Either one of you inbred country fucks knows where my woman is... better tell me now. Strolling Minstrel A, Strolling Minstrel B: [singing] The boy wants his bitch / Yeah, the boy wants his bitch / Sad, sad thing / A boy without his bitch. Mayor Buckman: Got any last requests, boy? Malcolm: Yeah. Kiss my black ass. Anderson Lee: I'll take your glory and honor. And I'll shove it right up your ass. [last lines] Hucklebilly: Damn Yankees. Mayor Buckman: This ain't my first barbeque, son! And it surely won't be my last!