Ethically-challenged attorney Alan Shore, formerly of Young, Berluti, & Frutt, settles in at a wealthy and powerful firm focusing on civ...更多>
Brad Chase: I outrank you. Alan Shore: And I'm such a slut for authority. Alan Shore: Hate to extort and run. Denny Crane: [repeated throughout series] Denny Crane... Gracie Jane: Gracie Jane. Denny Crane: Denny Crane. Gracie Jane: Gracie Jane. Denny Crane: Are you making fun of me? Denny Crane: I have an erection. That's a good sign. I'm ready to go to trial. Lock and load. Denny Crane: Because we're friends, I'm gonna tell you something nobody else knows. I'm homophobic. Alan Shore: [deadpan] I'm stunned. Denny Crane: [Denny is guarding Alan from his night terrors so he is sleeping in the bed with him] [in his sleep] Denny Crane: Denny Crane. Denny Crane. Denny Crane. Alan Shore: [Alan gets out of bed and stumbles. He has a rope tied around his leg; the other end is tied to Denny. Alan tries to get up and stumbles again. He tugs on the rope] Hey! Hey! Denny Crane: What the hell do you... Alan Shore: Get up, Denny. We're going to the bathroom. Denny Crane: Untie the knot. [turns over] Alan Shore: It takes too long. Let's just... get up! Denny Crane: I'm not getting up! Alan Shore: It'll take two seconds. [he tugs the rope] Denny Crane: It's the middle of the night! Alan Shore: Just get up! Denny Crane: I'm not gonna get up. Alan Shore: Dammit! Get up! [he tugs violently at the rope. Denny is pulled from the bed to the floor] Alan Shore: Happy? [stands up] Denny Crane: [Denny pulls the rope and Alan falls on top of him. They lie there, face to face] This isn't working for me. Denny Crane: You hear the one about the fella who died, went to the pearly gates? St. Peter let him in. Sees a guy in a suit making a closing argument. Says, "Who's that?" St. Peter says, "Oh, that's God. Thinks he's Denny Crane."
: Did my client tell you that this drug is unapproved by the FDA? Mark Harrison: Yes. Denny Crane: Did he tell you that, ah, there could be side effects? Mark Harrison: Yes. Denny Crane: You were fully informed. Mark Harrison: I was. Denny Crane: You consented. Mark Harrison: I did. Denny Crane: Take it again? Mark Harrison: Absolutely. Denny Crane: Like the doctor? Mark Harrison: Love him. Denny Crane: How's your memory? Mark Harrison: My memory's fine. Denny Crane: What's my name? Mark Harrison: Denny Crane. Denny Crane: Like you mean it! Mark Harrison: Denny Crane! Denny Crane: What's my name? Mark Harrison: [shouts] Denny Crane! Denny Crane: No further questions. Denny Crane: How can you ban red meat? Dominick Ryan: Well, they've got a whole campaign, they're going to go with it. They plan to promote Summersport as the seafood capital of the world. Denny Crane: We're carnivores. When the pilgrims landed, first thing they did was eat a few Indians. Dominick Ryan: [Shirley and Dominick stare at him] Is there anything we can do? Shirley Schmidt: We'll get in the media TRO. Denny Crane: I'll argue it myself. Ban red meat. That cannot pass Constitutional mustard. Shirley Schmidt: The word is "muster", Denny, but you're right, the law lacks condiments. Lori Colson: Hi. I'm Lori Colson; we haven't officially met. Catherine Piper: Hello, dear. Catherine Piper. Lori Colson: For the future... I don't really appreciate comments about my hair. Catherine Piper: Oh, I'm sorry. I was just trying to make conversation. And I assumed you wouldn't want me to go anywhere near your eyebrows. Catherine Piper: Cookies, everyone! Nourishment is most important in the morning. Paul Lewiston: Who is this woman? Catherine Piper: Take two, Tara, you're a rail. Paul Lewiston: Who is this woman? Catherine Piper: The ones on the left have a little bran to help our older lawyers with their routine. Paul Lewiston: Who is this woman? Catherine Piper: I'm Catherine Piper. I'm Alan's new assistant. My, don't you have an interesting face. Paul Lewiston: We are in the middle of a staff meeting. Catherine Piper:
No need to be snippy, dear. Especially since I come bearing treats. You never get a second chance to make a first impression.