Jimmy: I've drank three pints of milk a day for as long as I can remember. Because of all the calcium, I've never had a filling, or been knocked out, and my bones are as hard as rock! Jimmy: But what if I don't knock him out? I mean, he is the undefeated World Champion. Jimmy: [holding a shirt with 'The Kalcium Kid' on it] But calcium is spelled with a 'C,' not a 'K', Mr. Bush. Herbie Bush: C, K, C, K, CK... It's flummoxed. Stan Parlour: Your timing's rotten, mate. I've got me bird over. I'm getting me nuts wet. Pete Wright: I was fucking robbed! Stick this in your poxy documentary! [pushing over table] Pete Wright: And if you ever come back, I'll serve the fucking pair of you! Pete Wright: [to herbie] You couldn't organize a fuckup in a fucking brothel! Herbie Bush: Leonard! Tell him what you're gonna do to him if he doesnt fight Mendez. Leonard: Something painful, gov? Jimmy: If you're trying to scare me, you'd be better off by saying BOO! Sebastian Gore-Brown: I'm sorry. Is there a problem, Mr Cohen? Artie Cohen: A problem? Well, my definition of a problem is a trivial annoyance, easily overcome with quickness of thought. No, this is a situation. Sebastian Gore-Brown: And... and and what exactly is-is your-your definition of a-a situation? Artie Cohen: Two limey fucking filmmakers hanging from their skinny pricks over an 8th floor balcony, for shooting unauthorized footage of an Arty Cohen fighter. THIS! THIS IS MY DEFINITION OF A SITUATION! [Jimmy is venting at his trainer] Jimmy: [talking like Paddy] "Ah, bejesus! There's a leprechaun in the ring! Punch him, Johnny, punch him!" [screaming at Paddy] Jimmy: I'll bleedin' knock YOU out, you... mad old Irish bastard! Jimmy: [lies in bed] Say my name... Yeah, baby, yeah. Yeah... Sebastian Gore-Brown: [clears throat] Jimmy? [Jimmy looks up from underneath the cover] Sebastian Gore-Brown: Morning. We're the documentary team, we'll be filming you 24 hours a day in the run-up to the fight. Jimmy: Of course, the fight. Who would have thought it? Jimmy Connelly fighting Jose Mendez for the championship belt. Sebastian Gore-Brown: So, tell us, how does Jimmy Connelly start his day? Jimmy:
Umm... Well, as you probably noticed... I normally start off in the morning with a set of 50 sit-ups...
Stan Parlour: Don't you worry about a thing, pal. With me in control of your psychological preparation, Mendez will get his in the ring. And if he doesn't, then we'll catch up to him afterwards, and give it to him South London style, d'you know what I mean? Herbie Bush: You know what (bleep) Yanks can be... Maybe you can put a bleep over the 'pricks' bit. Jimmy: My dad gave me some good advice once; "Speak if you have something to say." I always thought that was pretty clever. He probably never thought that I'd be talking to the press though, eh? Pressman: Jimmy, do you really think that you stand a chance against Jose Mendez? Jimmy: Well, my dad once said, "There's normally a winner in a two-horse race". Obviously neither me or Jose are horses, but I think the moral of the story is anything can happen. I believe that. Jimmy: [reads out loud from a newspaper] "Fascist fighter shames nation"? "Jimmy 'the Calcium Kid' Connelly will be fighting for the middle-weight championship of the world on Saturday, but he will be doing so without the support of this newspaper. Connelly showed up at pre-fight press conference dressed in full Union Jack attire and lambasted Jose Mendez in the name of Queen and country."... What does lambasted mean? Jimmy: I'm a bit confused about everything that's going on at the moment. Clive Connelly: Does it feel like everyone's trying to pull your pants down, son? Jimmy: Yeah. Yeah, that's it exactly. Clive Connelly: My advice to you is... start wearing a belt. Stan Parlour: Rumble Jimmy, rumble! Clive Connelly: Nothing's out of reach, if you've got long arms. Paddy O'Flannagan: Now Johnny, I want you to close your eyes, take a few deep breaths and visualize yourself sitting in a beautiful field beside a quaint little stream. A lovely breeze blows over your face, and you feel safe and calm. Safe and calm! Safe... and calm. Jimmy: AAAH! A giant angry Jose shot out of the stream, dragged me out by the ears and dragged me under. Stan Parlour: Oi Jimbo! Silly Bollocks is here to see ya.