Phil Diffy is the oldest child in a normal family. His sister, Pim is an often devious girl with an unusual vocal talent, his mother has a r...更多>
Keely Teslow: She's in Indonesia. Phil Diffy: You have your latitude and longitude mixed up. She's next to Kid Rock and Ricki Lake. Keely Teslow: I know a shortcut through Tiger Woods. Phil Diffy: Frankie, does that girl over there strike you as young, Indonesian, and who can't read? Frankie: No, but I'll teach her how to read. You know what I'm sayin', Phil? Phil Diffy: No, I don't know what you're sayin'. Phil Diffy: Well, the Giggle is only designed for one. Keely Teslow: We can sit close. Phil Diffy: Okay. [Scoots over so Keely can sit beside him very close] Keely Teslow: [her cheek right next to his.] You okay? Phil Diffy: [smiles, happy at Keely's closeness.] Uh-uh. Phil Diffy: I don't wanna be your girlfriend. I wanna be your *boy*friend. [stops startled and off Keely's equally surprised look] Phil Diffy: I mean, your friend . . . who's a boy. A guy. A guy friend. Keely Teslow: Why didn't you tell me? Phil Diffy: I didn't know how. Keely Teslow: Phil, you can tell me anything. [takes him by his shoulders] Keely Teslow: I'm your girlfriend. I, I, I mean . . . your friend who's a girl. A gal. A gal friend. Bradley Benjamin Farmer: [to officer] She only had one name, Pim... tall, long blonde hair... yet strangely attractive. [realising the officer is still writing] Bradley Benjamin Farmer: Hey, don't write that! Keely Teslow: I can't stand her! I wish a building would fall on here! I wish she'd get stung by a fifty-pound bee! Keely Teslow: [switching to Phil's bedroom, Phil playing drums] I wish a dog would mistake her for a fire hydrant! I wish the US Women's Soccer team would use her as a football! Phil Diffy: Hey, how about being run over by a steam roller? Keely Teslow: [giving him a look] Phil, grow up! Keely Teslow: [to Phil] Um, too many people! Phil Diffy: Uh, Mom, Dad? Lloyd Diffy: But it's my house! Bradley Benjamin Farmer: I think that's more the woman's job. Surely you know how it is, Mr. Diffy? Lloyd Diffy:
And how! [seeing Barbara's face] Lloyd Diffy: H-How dare you say that, you insensitive clod! Uh, honey, give him the talk you always give me! Pim Diffy: [talking to Phil scratching Curtis' head] Now stop before he goes on the floor. Joel Messerschmidt: OK, people, we will be having a surprise test next week. Part of the surprise is that the test is tomorrow. Studying is recommended, though futile. Keely Teslow: [cheerfully] Hey! So I got your message. Where's your racket? Phil Diffy: My dad says our puddinator project will draw a lot of attention and that people will find out that we're from the future... My family has to move. Keely Teslow: This is crazy! We had all these plans! We were gonna go fishing this summer and I hate fishing. The only reason I was gonna go was because I thought it'd be fun with you! [pause] Keely Teslow: S-so when are you leaving? Phil Diffy: Tonight. Keely Teslow: T-tonight? This isn't fair! It just seems like kids should have a say in whether they move or not! Phil Diffy: [quietly] Tell me about it. Keely Teslow: So, you wanna play one last game of tennis? [throws the ball to Phil] Phil Diffy: Keely, you know I do. I can't. I have to help pack. [cuts to Keely, speechless] Phil Diffy: Bye, Keel. [hugs Keely, then starts walking away. Stops and throws the ball. Offscreen a cat screeches, ruining the sad Pheely moment] Phil Diffy: [shouts] Sorry! [pulls a face and walks out of the shot] Keely Teslow: [quietly] Bye, Phil. [Pim is foiled by static electricity and her hair is smoking in the hallway] Mr. Hackett: [cheerfully] No smoking! [she glares at him] Phil Diffy: [walks in and sees Sir Issac Newton and Albert Einstein at the table] Phil, I told you not to use holographic geniuses to help you with your homework. Phil Diffy: They're no help at all, and they're the biggest nerds of all times. Lloyd Diffy: [looking in the fridge] Hey, who drank all my juice boxes? [they hide the juice boxes under the table] Pim Diffy: [balloons are attracted to Curtis when he builds up static electricity] Amazing, how did you harness such power? Curtis: Balloons like Curtis... Curtis like balloons! Phil Diffy: We've got to stop her. That's what we've got to do. We need to think of a plan. Keely Teslow: Okay. [long pause] Keely Teslow:
Are you thinking of a plan? Cause' I'm just looking serious.