The warped misadventures of a former boy genius turned washed-up, middle-aged mad scientist Dr. Rusty Venture; his moronic teenage sons; the...更多>
Molotov Cocktease: Brock Samson, you dog. Brock Samson: Molotov, you bitch. Dr. Venture: Dean, what are you doing in there? I need to take a shower. Dean Venture: I'm practicing being a boyfriend, Pop! Dr. Venture: Never mind, Dean. Baron Ünderbheit: Catclops! What have you to report? Catclops: Tourism has skyrocketed at the Well of Bitter Sorrows and the Ünderbheit Birth Crevasse since you enacted the mandatory attendance edict. Baron Ünderbheit: Told you. Girl Hitler? Girl Hitler: Benzene chewables have doubled production in ze child slave mines. Dilly-dallying saw a brief spike, but ve stabilized it by removing ze feet of the alpha males, UND DE POPULAR GIRLS! Baron Ünderbheit: Good! Good! [Baron Ünderbheit offers a "parting gift" to his traitorous minions] Catclops: Tiger balm. I don't get it. Girl Hitler: Oh, maybe he's saying he's sore at us, and so he's giving us balm to soothe. Catclops: That's retarded. Sir, what exactl...? [Baron Ünderbheit is nowhere to be seen. ] Catclops: Where'd he go? I knew it, I knew it! He's gonna kill us, isn't he? [Tigers emerge from the walls and attack the minions] Catclops: Aw, crap! Manservant: [outside in the hall] Shall I have the maintenance crew clean the room, my master? Baron Ünderbheit: No, not yet, Manservant. [the Baron presses a remote control, activating a device strapped to the tigers] Girl Hitler: Ohhhh. Tiger *bomb!* Pirate Captain: Sit on my lap, son. It's story time Dean Venture: I don't want to sit in your lap! Pirate Captain: Fine! Don't! Dean Venture, Hank Venture: GO TEAM VENTURE! Brock Samson: ...I dunno, they just do that. Dr. Venture: Oh, you don't know when to stop with all this, do you? You just keep pushing my buttons! The Monarch: You're my arch-enemy! That's what I do! That's my thing! [staring at the mangled and burned bodies of Hank and Dean while Brock watches on, and Dr. Orpheus weeps] Dr. Venture:
All right. Get their clothes.
[referring to her old, skimpy costume] Dr. Girlfriend: I can't believe you saved it. What are these hard chunks? Phantom Limb: My... tears. [Present Day] The Monarch: *Tears*? You have to be kidding me! You know that sick, deformed slob... you know he was pounding his invisible meat all over that skimpy... Dr. Venture: Thats it! Objection! Your honor, I have children listening to this potty talk. Judge: Sustained. I want that last part stricken from the record. And my mind. [opening a bathroom door, hovering above the ground, with dramatic music playing] Dr. Byron Orpheus: Do not be too hasty in entering that room. I had Taco Bell for lunch! Henchman 21: Here is where you are wrong, my friend. This woman has killed before. Henchman 24: Allegedly. Henchman 21: Okay, whatever. But she was a big girl. We are talking about a large, healthy woman of questionable stability. Henchman 24: Oh, you are totally underestimating the never-say-die scrappiness of a survivor. The Monarch: Hey, guess what? Nobody cares who would win in a crazy fantasy fist-fight between Anne Frank and Lizzie Borden. We never should have brought the henchmen. We're going to be the only ones there with henchmen! Brock Samson: You did this! You did this, didn't you? RRRAH! Baron Ünderbheit: As usual, your detective skills are impeccable, Samson. You have succeeded in exposing my sinister plan to lock myself in a dungeon, chained to an albino. Triana Orpheus: Dad, I can take care of myself, you know. Dr. Byron Orpheus: I'm sorry, pumpkin. I trust you to defend your honor. It's just that... MY PUMPKIN'S MAIDENHEAD IS NOT A PRIZE TO BE... Triana Orpheus: DAD! Dean Venture: Good thinking, bro'a'mine. And I thought I was supposed to be the smart one Hank Venture: Ma Venture didn't raise no fools Dean Venture: W-We don't have a mom, Hank... [awkward silence] The Monarch: [in Dr. Venture's laboratory] Here I am in the heart of the lion's den and I don't even care! [indicating a machine] The Monarch: I don't even feel like taking a whizz on this! I used to DREAM about taking a whizz on this! Hank Venture: Dude! She totally digs you! Dean Venture: You think? Hank Venture: No. Brock Samson: Something big is going down, this place is crawling with Strangers. Hank Venture: Well, you can't expect to know everybody! Brock Samson:
No, Hank... Strangers are undercover Guild operatives.