Molotov Cocktease:
Brock Samson, you dog.
Brock Samson:
Molotov, you bitch.
Dr. Venture:
Dean, what are you doing in there? I need to take a shower.
Dean Venture:
I'm practicing being a boyfriend, Pop!
Dr. Venture:
Never mind, Dean.
Baron Ünderbheit:
Catclops! What have you to report?
Catclops:
Tourism has skyrocketed at the Well of Bitter Sorrows and the Ünderbheit Birth Crevasse since you enacted the mandatory attendance edict.
Baron Ünderbheit:
Told you. Girl Hitler?
Girl Hitler:
Benzene chewables have doubled production in ze child slave mines. Dilly-dallying saw a brief spike, but ve stabilized it by removing ze feet of the alpha males, UND DE POPULAR GIRLS!
Baron Ünderbheit:
Good! Good!
[Baron Ünderbheit offers a "parting gift" to his traitorous minions]
Catclops:
Tiger balm. I don't get it.
Girl Hitler:
Oh, maybe he's saying he's sore at us, and so he's giving us balm to soothe.
Catclops:
That's retarded. Sir, what exactl...?
[Baron Ünderbheit is nowhere to be seen. ]
Catclops:
Where'd he go? I knew it, I knew it! He's gonna kill us, isn't he?
[Tigers emerge from the walls and attack the minions]
Catclops:
Aw, crap!
Manservant:
[outside in the hall] Shall I have the maintenance crew clean the room, my master?
Baron Ünderbheit:
No, not yet, Manservant.
[the Baron presses a remote control, activating a device strapped to the tigers]
Girl Hitler:
Ohhhh. Tiger *bomb!*
Pirate Captain:
Sit on my lap, son. It's story time
Dean Venture:
I don't want to sit in your lap!
Pirate Captain:
Fine! Don't!
Dean Venture, Hank Venture:
GO TEAM VENTURE!
Brock Samson:
...I dunno, they just do that.
Dr. Venture:
Oh, you don't know when to stop with all this, do you? You just keep pushing my buttons!
The Monarch:
You're my arch-enemy! That's what I do! That's my thing!
[staring at the mangled and burned bodies of Hank and Dean while Brock watches on, and Dr. Orpheus weeps]
Dr. Venture:
复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制
23复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制
All right. Get their clothes.
复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制
fd8复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制
[referring to her old, skimpy costume]
Dr. Girlfriend:
I can't believe you saved it. What are these hard chunks?
Phantom Limb:
My... tears.
[Present Day]
The Monarch:
*Tears*? You have to be kidding me! You know that sick, deformed slob... you know he was pounding his invisible meat all over that skimpy...
Dr. Venture:
Thats it! Objection! Your honor, I have children listening to this potty talk.
Judge:
Sustained. I want that last part stricken from the record. And my mind.
[opening a bathroom door, hovering above the ground, with dramatic music playing]
Dr. Byron Orpheus:
Do not be too hasty in entering that room. I had Taco Bell for lunch!
Henchman 21:
Here is where you are wrong, my friend. This woman has killed before.
Henchman 24:
Allegedly.
Henchman 21:
Okay, whatever. But she was a big girl. We are talking about a large, healthy woman of questionable stability.
Henchman 24:
Oh, you are totally underestimating the never-say-die scrappiness of a survivor.
The Monarch:
Hey, guess what? Nobody cares who would win in a crazy fantasy fist-fight between Anne Frank and Lizzie Borden. We never should have brought the henchmen. We're going to be the only ones there with henchmen!
Brock Samson:
You did this! You did this, didn't you? RRRAH!
Baron Ünderbheit:
As usual, your detective skills are impeccable, Samson. You have succeeded in exposing my sinister plan to lock myself in a dungeon, chained to an albino.
Triana Orpheus:
Dad, I can take care of myself, you know.
Dr. Byron Orpheus:
I'm sorry, pumpkin. I trust you to defend your honor. It's just that... MY PUMPKIN'S MAIDENHEAD IS NOT A PRIZE TO BE...
Triana Orpheus:
DAD!
Dean Venture:
Good thinking, bro'a'mine. And I thought I was supposed to be the smart one
Hank Venture:
Ma Venture didn't raise no fools
Dean Venture:
W-We don't have a mom, Hank...
[awkward silence]
The Monarch:
[in Dr. Venture's laboratory] Here I am in the heart of the lion's den and I don't even care!
[indicating a machine]
The Monarch:
I don't even feel like taking a whizz on this! I used to DREAM about taking a whizz on this!
Hank Venture:
Dude! She totally digs you!
Dean Venture:
You think?
Hank Venture:
No.
Brock Samson:
Something big is going down, this place is crawling with Strangers.
Hank Venture:
Well, you can't expect to know everybody!
Brock Samson:
复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制
3d复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制
No, Hank... Strangers are undercover Guild operatives.
复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制
ffb复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制
Dean Venture:
We gotta warn Pop!
Brock Samson:
No, Dean. This is guild business, your father isn't in any harm. Guild works clean, professional, and surgical. In a way, they're the only organization I still respect.
Hank Venture:
[dramatically] And they kill clean! Don't let dames get in the way!
Brock Samson:
[turning to Hank] Honestly, Hank, where do you pick that stuff up? I never see you read!
Dean Venture:
It's weird, right?
Brock Samson:
It's like he channels dead crazy people!
Hank Venture:
[worried] Do you think it's a cry for help?
The Monarch:
I wanted to thank you for finding Grover Cleveland's presidential time machine for me. I'll give him your regards.
Hank Venture, Dean Venture:
GO TEAM VENTURE!
Dr. Byron Orpheus:
Yes, go Team Venture!
Dr. Venture:
Oh for God's sake, don't encourage them.
Dr. Venture:
[a drunk Brock barges into the dorm room] Who the hell are you?
Pete White:
I think that's your roommate, Rust.
[the Monarch has Brock Sampson right where he wants him]
The Monarch:
Release the butterflies.
[Dead butterflies fall on Brock]
The Monarch:
Okay, whose job was it to feed the butterflies?
[Brock Samson has torn off an animated statue's arm and is now beating him with it]
Hank Venture:
Stop hitting yourself! Stop hitting yourself!
Dr. Venture:
Oh come on! You're gonna kill me because I had fake sex on graph paper with a girl who barely spoke to you in real life?
Brock Samson:
After the twist, you'll feel a snap and the body goes ragdoll on you.
Hank Venture:
And that will knock him out... even more?
Brock Samson:
That will kill him.
Hank Venture:
Do I have to?
Brock Samson:
Alright, fine crybaby. Tie him up and, I guess, gag him. But at the first sign of trouble I want you to at least break both his knees.
Dr. Girlfriend:
Killing your arch-enemy on Christmas Eve - that's a gift for me?
The Monarch:
Well, I got you some stocking-stuffers too...
Henchman 24:
Come on! They have one female servicing a large group of males. That implies a species that lays eggs.
Henchman 21:
Oh my God, you're crazy! They're so obviously mammals!
Henchman 24:
Please! She'd be in estrus 24/7 if she didn't lay eggs.
Henchman 21:
Smurfs don't lay eggs! I won't tell you this again! Papa Smurf has a fucking beard! They're mammals!
Dr. Venture:
Dean! Have you been shooting dope into your scrotum? You can tell me! I'm hip!
Dean Venture:
Hank! I had my pubes shaved. I'm gonna put them under the pillow for the tooth fairy!
Hank Venture:
Did the doctor see that creepy dog dork of yours?
Dr. Venture:
Hank, don't brag to your brother about your circumcision.
Brock Samson:
Don't you have nothing else to do but harp on Dr. Venture? Why haven't you tried the World Domination thing, you afraid of the big leagues?
The Monarch:
Please. How stupid do I look to you? World Domination. I'll leave that to the religious nuts or the Republicans, thank you.
Dr. Venture:
Why is it every time I need to get somewhere, we get waylaid by jackassery?
Triana Orpheus:
Hey, how come I never see you in school?
Dean Venture:
I'm tutored by a box my pop made. It gets so hot... in the box my pop made...
Triana Orpheus:
That's kinda screwy.
Pete White:
This next one's a dedication to Leslie Cohen, from her little buddy, Mike Sorayama. And he writes, "Leslie, I masturbate furiously to your picture every night. Please notice me. Love, Mike."
Brock Samson:
Now, Hank, touch your throat. That tube you feel is your trachea. Think of it as your handle. That thing your thumb is on is your carotid artery. Think of it as your button. I want you to grab the handle, push the button. Can you repeat that, Hank?
Hank Venture:
[gasping] Grab the handle, push the button.
Brock Samson:
Let go of your own throat, Hank.
Dean Venture:
Hank and I just woke up on the floor. We were playing Ouija and a guy hypnotized us.
Dr. Venture:
Dean?
Dean Venture:
With his magical Dracula powers.
Dr. Venture:
Dean I'm going to turn around now and you'd better be on fire. You're standing there in flames and the only person who can put you out is me! Because that is the only conceivable reason that you would wake me up like this!
The Monarch:
What? Think this is gay huh? Is that what you fucking said you scrawny peice of shit? Oh this isn't gay. But King Gorilla over there is! And I bet he can't wait to snap off a peice of your dick in his ass!
[points to Dean]
The Monarch:
You! Get up! I said get the fuck up! What's your name?
Dean Venture:
Dean Ven...
The Monarch:
[shouts] Your name is bitch! And I own you. You're property! And when I'm tired of having sex with every hole God drilled in your slender frame... King Gorilla! You got a cigerette?
[King Gorilla hands him one]
The Monarch:
There! I just sold you for a cigarette! And I don't smoke!
[realizes who Dean is]
The Monarch:
复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制
69复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制
Holy shit! You're Dean-Fucking-Venture! King, I've gotta buy my bitch back. Here's your cigarette.
复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制
fa1复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制
King Gorilla:
Fuck you. Gimme a dollar!
Dr. Venture:
C'mon, you do this stuff every day!
Dr. Byron Orpheus:
But that's different!
Dr. Venture:
Why? Because you call it by a different name? Church, lab. Soul, synapses. Purgatory, computer. Get over yourself!
Executioner:
Give me the Hand of Osiris!
Dr. Venture:
Give me head.
Executioner:
You didn't just say that.
Dr. Venture:
I absolutely did, what are you gonna do about it?
Executioner:
I'm about to kill your sons.
Dr. Venture:
Join the club.
Henchman 21:
Who's your date?
The Monarch:
I met her on the LiveJournal, which I kept in prison. I have been blogging! After posting an especially attractive picture of my prison-sculpted abs, she commented that I was not only "Foine", I was "Teh Sex"... whatever that means.
Dr. Venture:
Dean, you smell like a whore
Henchman 21:
Who's your date?
The Monarch:
I met her on the LiveJournal, which i kept in prison. I have been blogging! after posting an especially attractive picture of my prison sculpted abs, she commented that i was not only "Pwn", i was "Teh Sex"... whatever that means.
Henchman 24:
We're gonna get our asses kicked. We didn't have a breakfast.
Professor Impossible:
You see Doctor Venture, I found the piece your father hid in the foundation years ago... then I thought about you in physics class. You were a daydreamer. A sassmouth! And, not infrequently, a bit of a gigglepuss! Somehow I doubt twenty years of amphetamines and failure have done anything to improve that.复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制
