The town of Chilly Beach is a ridiculously unsuccessful Canadian resort community, somehow built on the shores of a drifting ice floe in the...更多>
Jacques LaRock: Paper towel. No toilet on Earth can withstand its awesome power. <
hr width="30%"> Dale McDonald: There's something sinister going on in this town. Sinister and... uh... what's another word for sinister? Dale McDonald: It's the end of civilization as we know it! And I don't even know it all that good! Angelica: Would you like to have a romantic montage with me? Constable Al: Oh yes please! Constable Al: [gasps] Lieutenant Wright! You are here from headquarters! Lieutenant Wright: Let me hear that gasp of surprise again. Constable Al: [gasp] Lieutenant Wright: Well I suppose that will have to do. Although I'm not sure you leapt out of your chair with regulation shock. Constable Al: [reading a coupon] Buy seventeen cans of beans, get the eighteenth for half price. Oh dear, if only I had been receiving that before purchasing those eighteen cans of beans. Dale McDonald: You know what you need? A girlfriend. Constable Al: Really? Oh my goodness gracious. Could romance be the one missing piece of my life for which I have been searching these twenty long minutes? Dale McDonald: Or a toboggan! Constable Al: But I would not even know where to be getting one. Dale McDonald: At the hardware store! Frank Shackleford: He's talking about a girlfriend! Dale McDonald: So am I! I almost got a date in the aisle where the toilet parts are. Dale McDonald: [looking over his sled dog team of wiener dogs] How come my dogs are a dog-and-a-half long but only half a dog high? Rover: It was an unholy beast. Half man, half wiener dog. A were-wiener! I've seen 'em before. Seen what they can do. Even fought one once. Tore a big hole in my pant leg, near the ankle. Almost broke the skin! I couldn't wear shorts for a week! Jacques LaRock: Name your price, up to and including twenty dollars. Dale McDonald: Ten bucks! Biggs: We have a signed contract. Dale McDonald: We do? Biggs: [holds out a contract and a pen] Sign here. Dale McDonald: [signs it] Biggs: Yes, we do. Dale McDonald: Oh. Well can't we make a new contract? One that says I don't have to do what you say? Biggs: I'm sorry, I don't have a pen. Dale McDonald: But you just gave me this one. Biggs: Exactly. That was my only one. Dale McDonald: I have sensitive skin. It hurts when I get punched and kicked. Dale McDonald:
I don't read the newspaper. I don't like all that news. Or paper.
Dale McDonald: I don't know how I feel about this. Biggs: I do. You feel good. Now do it. Constable Al: I do not make the rules, sir. I merely enjoy the power rush of enforcing them. Angus MacAuger: I think I left something in the stove. And I best let it out before it dies. Jacques LaRock: I do not know how to thank you for this. Dale McDonald: Just knowing that I'm being paid is thanks enough.