Based on the true story about Ryan Dunn (played by himself) and his ex-girlfriend Glauren (Jenn Rivell) and how she cheated on him. After th...更多>
Officer: I gotta take you in. Valo:
Aww, for the love of fucks sake, you CAN'T take him in.
Officer: I gotta make an arrest here; I had a complaint... Valo: Whwhwhwh, wait, I got this sports watch, you can have it, here. Glauren: What I need right now is heavy metal music, hard drinkin, mayhem, shit you can't offer me right now, okay Ryan? Ryan Dunn: Who are you? You don't even like fast music - you don't even drink. Glauren: [indignant] Yeah. Before I met Hellboy. You know what your problem is? You always want shit to stay the same, okay? I need to get out there. I wanna play the field - of dicks. [beat] Ryan Dunn: Eww. Falcone: These... are girlfriend's... underwears. Officer: Hellboy? Ryan Dunn: Picture a guy named Hellboy... and that's what he looks like. Hellyboy: What the fuck is that? Do I have a camera? Ryan Dunn: That's a nice tattoo you got there. What does that mean? Girl at Coffee Shop: It means desire. Ryan Dunn: Desire huh? What the fuck does that mean? Does that mean you're into dudes with fuckin' long hair, smell like beer, have shitty tattoos; maybe they hang out at the bowling alley! Maybe, just maybe you'll go out back and rub their sick crotch; he'll stick his hands down your pants. Meanwhile, your boyfriend's sittin' at home jerkin off to fuckin' gay porn. Glauren: Hellboy fucking fingered me. [Glauren and Hellboy are having sex; Valo and Falcone are eavesdropping] Glauren: Teenagers were meant to fuck. Valo: Did she just say "teenagers were meant to fuck"? Don Vito: No, what are you doin'? Those grapes ain't for you. [while filming a home movie using a model train set and action figures] Falcone: What are you guys doing, humping on the caboose? [Talking about Hellboy's tattoo] Glauren: Actually, he's got a rhino. Ya' know, I'm a Leo so I like rhinos... [In a sarcastic voice] Ryan Dunn: Yeah, rhino, real cool. Valo: Some girl stabbed Ryan in the eye, now he's gotta rock a pirate-patch for at least a month. Falcone: So how's school going, Raab? Raab: Ohh, wow, not so good. I lost my schedule at the beginning of the semester, and couldn't find where my classes for like a month and a half. And I'm getting three D's and an F, but I mean, it's not that bad considering I passed. Valo: Don't touch me, or I'll seriously kill your face, it's so hardcore. Valo:
Tell him how Hellboy's in for it.