Angela Harris: We've got the FBI on us like trailer trash on Velveeta. Steve Tobias: We're the CIA. Angela Harris: Great, now I have to kill him. Steve Tobias: This wedding is going to be as normal as butter on mashed potatoes. Jerry Peyser: "Normal as butter on mashed potatoes"? That lasted about ten minutes. Jerry Peyser: That was fun. Steve Tobias: Yeah blackmail! Ha ha. Steve Tobias: I don't know one person here. Jerry Peyser: That's because it's not an arms market. Jerry Peyser: I'm sorry I called you the worst father in the world. I'm sure there's at least two or three guys who are worse. Steve Tobias: Thank you, Jer. Jerry Peyser: Six people on a beach! I could have saved a fortune. Steve Tobias: Jer, they're gonna be fine. In fact, the whole family's gonna be just fine. Jerry Peyser: You know something? He might actually like prison. Steve Tobias: Like it? He's gonna love it. Mark Tobias: The one time my father shows up to Cub Scouts and I earn a merit badge in covert evasion techniques. Mark Tobias: [walks in the men's restroom while Steve and Angela are sitting up the man Steve beat up] Oh, an unconscious person. You must be working. Jerry Peyser: I would contract what they call wet bone. Jean-Pierre Thibodoux: I'm curious to know more about wet bone. Jean-Pierre Thibodoux: To Fat Cobra in the flesh. Steve Tobias: Doctor, do you know what a roofie is? Jerry Peyser: Yeah I know what a roofie is, frat boys give them to girls at parties. [Steve nods] Jerry Peyser: Oh no. Oh don't rape me. [passes out] Jerry Peyser: I got what they call wet bone. Jean-Pierre Thibodoux:
I'm curious to know more about wet bone.
Jean-Pierre Thibodoux: People think we are crazy. But they don't know the joy of holding a man's beating heart in the palm of your hand. Jerry Peyser: Aww, that's a good feeling. Jerry Peyser: Katharine, I am in the bathroom of Barbra Streisand's airplane. Jean-Pierre Thibodoux: But there are certain things I can only do with a man, no? Jerry Peyser: Like golf? Jean-Pierre Thibodoux: No! I am not gay! Melissa Peyser: You guys, my dad wouldn't buy a Russian submarine... I mean, he wouldn't even buy a foreign car! Steve Tobias: [after large snake is served at ethnic restaurant] Uh, Jerry, you alright? You haven't even touched your food! Jerry Peyser: My food is still eating. Angela Harris: Is that a fanny pack? Steve Tobias: It's cute, isn't it? Angela Harris: It's adorable. Steve Tobias: So have you ever been to Vietnam? Katherine Peyser: No, but we hear it's lovely.