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Jesus returns to Earth in present-day NYC, sent by his Father to usher in 2000 years of Godly peace. Unfortunately, modern young people resp...
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Jesus/Ultrachrist!:
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4d
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The crucifix is the symbol of Christianity? I HATED the crucifix! OUCH!
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f38
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Jane:
Wow, that's alotta stigmata!
Archangel Ira:
Jada, I've never met anyone like you.
Jada Jennsen:
You've never been to the Hamptons?
Jada Jennsen:
You're getting really high 'zzzzzzz' on our Buzz-ometer. What are some of your hobbies?
Jesus/Ultrachrist!:
Contrition. And, you know, working with wood?
Jesus/Ultrachrist!:
I understand that your faith is shaken, but just because Father Barry grabbed your tushy in Sunday school is no reason to spurn all religion.
Molly:
I never told anyone about that! You really are Jesus! Or a friend of Father Barry.
[Archangel Ira is bragging to God the Father]
Archangel Ira:
I don't have to tell you, but I was something of a minor prophet in my day. Which, glory be to you! We used to say it takes the divine hand of God to make even a minor prophet. And this was before the Nasdaq!
Jesus/Ultrachrist!:
I feel out of touch with the people of today. There are so many new words to learn, like "extranet" and "foofaraw".
Adolph Hitler:
Ach! Ist der Ultrachriswitz!
Jesus/Ultrachrist!:
Adolf Hitler! The guy who put "Eich!" in The Third Re... eich!
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