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[Jack and Victor enter The Clansman]
Bobby:
Hey look! It's Lambert and Butler!
Jack:
Shut it Bobby, you're the only fag in here.
[Victor is clearing out Jack's fridge when he comes across a dated looking can of Tennants Lager]
Victor:
Jeezo Jack, there's a lassie on this tin, it'll be well past it's sell-by.
Jack:
Ahh right, mind you, they never put sell-by dates on the cans back then, so it should be ok.
Victor:
Consider this, you're warm noo, but how's it gonnae be in a wee stony jail cell, with nothing to heat ye up... but a hot boabie RIGHT up your arse!
[Jack and Victor enter The Clansman]
Bobby the barman:
Oh, Here comes Francie and Josie
Jack, Victor:
Shut up Dick!
Bobby the barman:
For the Millionth time, it's Bobby.
[Jack and Victor enter The Clansman]
Bobby the barman:
Oh, look who it isnae.
Jack:
Oh, that is fantastic patter, Bobby, who are we no today, ya prick?
Victor:
Two lagers, ya fanny.
[Jack and Victor enter The Clansman]
Bobby the barman:
Oh, here they come. Abbott and Costello. You're putting the beef on Jack.
Jack:
Aye, that right. Everytime i shag your wife, she makes me a sandwich.
Isa Drennan:
I wis just sayin tae Jack and Victor, it'd be handy tae hae a key fur Wullie MacIntosh's hoose.
Winston Ingram:
I hae a key
[gets whacked by Victor]
Winston Ingram:
... fur mah door. It's handy 'cause if I didnae hae wan, I'd huf tae climb in through the windae.
Bobby the barman:
[Jack and Victor enter the Clansman] Ho-ho, it's the two Ronnies.
Victor:
The two Ronnies is it, aye? Well, then, it's shut-up-ya-prick frae me...
Jack:
And its shut-up-ya-prick frae him.
Bobby the barman:
[Jack and Victor enter the pub] Oh, here they come, Batman and Robin!
Victor:
We'll accept that, so long as you go catwoman, you big pussy!
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