Jim: What are we going to do? [Jesse half-smiles] Bob: He's smiling. Jim: Is that bad? Frank: Very. Cole: Let's Ride! Bob: Now I would sound just stupid sayin' that. Cole: Everyone keeps callin' us the James Younger gang, why aren't we the Younger James gang, I mean, there are three Younger Brothers and two James brothers. Bob: The Younger-James gang is confusing. If we bust into a bank and yell "Hey we're the Younger-James gang", people'll be thinging the YOUNGER-James gang? Is there an older James gang? then poeple'll be thinkin' bout that instead of raisin' their arms. Jesse James: Can't argue with that Cole. Cole: Sadie was a beautiful woman, Sadie was not a man! Jesse James: She had a mustache, a nice mustache. Frank: I think she had more than a mustache! Cole: Well, she was European. Jesse James: Hey stupid, yeah you. Glad you know your name you dumb shit! Loni Packwood: This is the last straw. I came back from the war and my house was burned down, my cows were dead. My wife's run off with my cousin Jeb. That son of a bitch, he took my dog. Cole: Gatling! They got a Gatling gun! Bob: Goddamn it Cole, this stopped bein' fun about two years ago! Head Teller: Why sir, this bill is counterfeit! Jesse James: No, I don't think so. And I'll have to see the rest of your money to compare. Frank: Its a scientific method, I hear it all the rage!. [During the gang's 1st robbery without Jesse James] Man: But the Younger gang rides with Jesse James. Bob: Hey, You wanna die? Man: No. [to Zee] Jesse James: You got big. I mean, you aged. What I mean to say is you got big and older. Jesse James: Your to young to drink whiskey Jim: If I'm old enough to shoot a man, I'm old enough to drink whiskey! Jesse James: Hands off your hip Cole. Cole: Ain't scared are ya Jesse? Jesse James: Pick your fights cousin, you taught me that. Jesse James: You got a plan. Bob: My plan of lying here pissing myself is working mighty fine, thank you very much. Cole: Some Indian tracker you turned out to be, Tom. Comanche Tom: You wanted me to find you Bluecoats and there they are. Confederate Soldier: The war's over, son. Bob: Well someone better go tell the damn Yankees! Ma James: The Lord says we can bury outback in the orchard. No one will ever find him. Jesse James: Somebody sure is in a vengeful mood today. Frank: Why don't we let 'em go for today, Ma? Well bury 'em outback next time. Ma James: *sad* Aww... All right. Ma James: Well, wadda ya know. The Lord is a lot shorter than I reckoned. Allan Pinkerton: It's going to be a long spring. Zee Mimms: If you don't see it, then it's not real. Cole: Ma'am can ya turn around and cover your face with your hands please. Woman: Why? Cole: Cuz I'm gonna shoot this man and I don't think you wanna see it. [Woman turns] Cole: Thanks. Cole: Why are we called the James-Younger gang? I think it should be the Younger-James gang, seeing as we got three Younger brothers and only two James. Jim: I kinda like the sound of the James-Younger gang. Cole: Jim, stay out of this. Bob: Oh, Jimmy's got a point, Cole. The Younger-James gang is confusing. Cole: How's that, Bob? Bob: If we run into a bank and yell, "We're the Younger-James gang!" People will start thinkin', "The Younger-James gang? Is there an Older-James gang? How come I've never heard of the Old-James gang?" And they'll be too busy figurein' that out instead of raisin' their arms. Cole: Do we even have the same mama? Do we? I got an idea, if shoot Bob and Jim I won't have anymore arguments. Jesse James: Hey Doc, I was wonderin' if I could come by later. Doc Mimms: Of course, you know you're always welcome here Jesse. Jesse James: Yeah, I know, but I meant if I could come and take Zee out. No where far, ya know around here but,
Jesse James: OUT. Doc Mimms: That's fine with me. Frank: [with a grin] Oh, don't you worry, I make sure these two are properly chaperoned! Doc Mimms: Why that thought hadn't even crossed my mind, thank you Frank. Frank: That Zerelda turn into one hell of a women eh? Jesse James: Oh yea. Frank: "Big and Older"? Jesse James: You can shut up now, Frank. Frank: You are a charmer. Jesse James: I swear to god I will shoot you in your sleep. Frank: Next time try "Fat and Haggard"! [Seeing Loni holding something] Bob: Whats that? Loni Packwood: It's my lucky rabbit's foot. I got it off that dead guy over there. Bob: Yeah, I don't think that ones worth it Loni. Cole: Hey! Just because Frank reads all them books and uses all them big fancy words don't make him smart! Bob: Uh, yes it does. Frank: From women's eyes this doctrine I derive, they sparkle still the right promethean fire. They are the books, the arts, the acedemes that show, contain and nourish all the world. Cole: I have no clue what you just said, but it sure sounded nice. Frank: That's Shakespeare, now he's European. General: Get me the James boy! Tom: Jesse? General: NO! Not Jesse! I want the one that can shoot! Tom, Cole, Bob: FRANK! Cole: Where you been buddy? Jesse James: What's going on? Cole: Well, nothin' really. Frank: ...I just need a distraction. Jesse James: A distraction? [starts to smirk] Jesse James: Well why the hell didn't you just say so? [smiles and then runs] Bob: ...He's smilin'! Cole: That's never a good thing. Jesse James: Distracting enough for ya'? Frank: Aw, they hardly even noticed you. Jesse James: So your saying I could have done more to attact their attention? Frank: Uh-uh. Jesse James: Such as? Frank: Well you coulda' worn one of those floppy women's Easter bonnets. Jesse James: Yea, that would've made an impression. Frank: I figure.