Things are gonna happen for me, I'm Joe Dirt.
[talking to himself while brushing hair in the mirror] People like that security guard. They don't really mean what they say. They just got their own issues and what not. Alls I got to do is keep bein' a good person. No matter what, good things'll come my way. Everything's gonna happen for me, just so long as I never have no in my heart.
[toilet flushes and man walks out of stall. Joe looks down awkwardly]
Right on. Things are gonna happen for me! I'm Joe Dirt!