Stu Miley: Excuse me kitty. I'll be right back after I choke my monkey! Stu Miley: The woman I love is living with a horny little monkey that looks like me. Kitty: What a lucky girl! Monkeybone: I left my number in your undies! Hypnos: I can't believe it, we give him a body and he sends us dogs?! Kitty: Let's not think about dogs... Let's think about pussycats... Julie: It looks so...new. Stu: Well that's because it is new! Julie: But the heirloom - your grandmother's ring-- Stu: What?? You want a used ring?! Stephen King: How about that nightlight I asked you for? Edgar Allen Poe (to King): King You Pussy! Stephen King: Bite me Poe! Doctor: [while in a van chasing a runaway possessed corpse] Wait! We are doctors. We won't hurt you, we only want your organs! Stu Miley: So how long have you been in here? Steven King: 25 Years. I steal the golden ticket and Cujo gets to use it. Organ Donor Stu: What is wrong with my neck? Doctor: You broke it, you're an organ donor! Monkeybone: No I wasn't in a coma! Alright I was in a coma but it wasn't like I was IN A COMA and goofing off, I was thinking up hilarious new bits the whole time! Stu: So I thought what the hell I'm a big celebrity now, I can get all the chicks I want. Why get married? But on the other hand if you are married, no more stink eye. Plus they can't testify against you. Herb: Testify about what? Monkeybone: Ladies and Gentlemen, forget about the naked man with the purple face.