[as an ass blaster groans over Burt's compound]
Burt:
Not to worry, my perimeter is completely Graboid proof.
Jodi Chang:
But is it ass blaster proof.
[after Burt blows up a shrieker herd]
Jack:
Holy Sheeit! he doesn't fool around.
Jodi Chang:
Burt is very uh, committed.
Jack:
I've been listening to my inner voice, and it's tellin' me that you and I are destined to work together. What do ya think?
Burt:
I think if I had an inner voice, it'd be tellin' me to tell you to get lost.
[drives off]
Jack:
Well, uh just give it some time. You just think about it and get back to me now.
[to the federal agents]
Burt:
You guys just do what you do best. Find something simple and complicate it!
Burt:
Have you heard from the feds?
Jack:
Not since this morning. Haven't been able to raise 'em. They were chasing a Graboid.
Burt:
They were chasing it? It wasn't chasing them?
Burt:
Is your head up your ass for the warmth?
Burt:
[about the FEDS]
[over radio]
Burt:
They are not your friends, they are government agents.
Jack:
[also over radio] I just did a little negotiatin'.
Burt:
You did *what*?
Jack:
All you need to do is catch a live graboid and they'll give you back your huntin' liscence.
Burt:
Yeah, copy that, roger, I just have one question.
Jack:
Shoot.
Burt:
[off radio] Is your head up your ass for the warmth?
Burt:
What kind of supreme being would condone such iorny?
Burt:
And THAT'S why we're at the top of the food chain!
[Jack notices chains attached to the back of Burt's truck]
Jack:
Somebody gettin' married?
[after Burt blows up his home to keep the assblaster from eating the food, and finding out food stops them]
Burt:
What kind of supreme being would condone such irony?
[after Burt gets dug up from a Graboid stomach]
Burt:
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I prefer... we keep this... to ourselves.
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Jodi Chang:
Oh, you guys definitely need to be supervised.
Burt:
And people called me paranoid.
Jack:
I never thought you were paraniod
Miguel:
I did
[Under his breath]
Miguel:
but not no more.
[after Burt kills 100 shriekers with an anti-aircraft gumn mount]
Burt:
Any questions?
Miguel:
The BLM man gave me permission to kill anything that represented a danger to my cattle. El lobo, el coyote, and el Graboid.
[Suggesting names for the flying monsters]
Jodi Chang:
Assblasters. How's that?
Jack:
Sounds like a porno film.
Burt:
The little turd!
Jodi Chang:
Anybody got a lighter?
Jack:
Burt's got one.
Burt:
What makes you think that?
Jack:
'Cause... You're Burt.
Burt:
[Presenting lighter] Damn right I am.
Jodi Chang:
Well, we discovered it right? Just like the other ones. We should name it... how about buttlauncher?
Jack:
The universe provides.
Jodi Chang:
The universe provides a boat?
Jack:
And a blue tarp! C'mon!
Burt:
Well, lets asses the situation.
Jack:
We're screwed.
Jodi Chang:
We're screwed in an outhouse.
[a graboid is just outside Burt's fence]
Burt:
Now, if you'll kindly lean your endangered carcass over my property line, we'll call your untimely demise 'self defense'.
Burt:
[handing Jack a gun] You do know which end the bullets come out?
Jack:
I've seen movies.
[Melvin is trying to convince Burt to sell his house and land]
Melvin Plug:
C'mon Burt, what do you say?
Burt:
I say I'll give you a ten-second head start.
Burt:
I'm a masterpiece of selfdestruction.复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制
