Mickey: Now, I wanna remind everyone of the House of Mouse rules-no smoking, no villainous schemes and no guests eating other guests. Pete: Everybody out. Mickey: Show's not over yet, Pete. Pete: What show? You've got no cartoons and that stage is deader than the Haunted Mansion. Goofy: Here's your doggie bag, Miss De Vil. Cruella De Vil: Forget the bag. I'll take the doggie. Goofy: Hi. I'm waiter and I'll be your Goofy tonight. Now, let me tell you our specials, we have Breadknobs and Fishsticks, Cruella De Veal, Peg-Leg Pizza, Never Never Lamb, Stromboli Ravioli and Pocahummus. Mickey: The Three Caballeros are Panchito, Jose and... Tweedle Dee: Sneezy? Tweedle Dum: No, it's Grumpy. You're so dumb. Queen of Hearts: You'll have to go fish for a better deal, because we give the competition the royal flush. Timon: Excuse me. Did anyone order a blue-butt baboon? Because I ain't eatin' it. Mickey: Sorry I'm late everybody. I had to stop by the bank. I was overdrawn. Pencil Test Character #1: Overdrawn? You're lucky. Pencil Test Character #2: Yeah. We're not done yet. Mickey: Cruella De Vil's been a little sloppy with her driving lately. Cruella De Vil: Who? Me? Mickey: She's gotten 101 citations. Gepetto: I didn't get a wink of sleep last night. Pinocchio: I slept like a log. Goofy: Two pigs were wallowing in the mud... no, wait, that's a dirty joke. Ding-dong. No, wait, that should be knock-knock. Talking Doorknob: Oh, who's there, who's there? Goofy: Oh, never mind. Knock-knock jokes stink. Talking Doorknob: Hmph. I take that as a personal slam on doors. Goofy: Well... there's Cubby, Darlene and... I know, Annette. Mickey: Is that your final answer? Talking Spotlight: Hey. Lighten up. Horace Horsecollar: No. You lighten up. Cinderella: But Mickey, I need the pumpkin. It's my ride home. Mickey:
I'll find you a new ride home.
Cinderella: Well, all right, but I must leave by midnight. Mickey: There's a spinning teacup illegally parked. License plate: R-U-DIZZY. Mad Hatter: That's mine. Daisy: Table for 101. Donald: Oh no. Timon: Waiter. There's a fly in my friend's soup. I want one too. Hey, Simba, what did you get in your soup? Simba: Rafiki. Clarabelle: Dopey may leave the Seven Dwarfs to pursue more dramatic roles. Next, over at Lady and the Tramp's, Tramp came home late and caused a bit of a dog fight between him and Lady... Max: You got me a car? Goofy: Even better. I got you your own parking space. Mickey: See ya real soon. [Pete is accused of stealing the cartoons] Pete: This rope isn't mine. My fingerprints here don't prove nothin' and I don't even know Horace Horsecollar. Horace: Hey Pete. Pete: Oh, hey Horace. How's it goin'? Horace: Goin' all right? How's the wife and kids? Pete: Can't complain. Big Bad Wolf: Three little pigs in a blanket. Goofy: What're you all doin'? Mickey: Just hanging out with Max. Goofy: I thought you were trying to keep me from seein' that car Max crashed through the wall. Max: Head waiter is the easiest job. All you do is order the penguins around and read the funny menu. Pete: You did put on a show, even if Mickey Mouse prancin' around in Christmas lights ain't much of one. Max: HOLD IT. Will everybody PLEASE stop fussing over us. I hate to complain, but I asked for us to be left alone and I've never seen so many people in my life. What's next? A marching band? [a marching band is waiting in the lobby] Daisy: Sorry, guys. Your gig's off. Goofy: [At the phone company] This is the party line. Oh, water line, red line, dandy line, hair line, life line, fe-line, airline, firin' line, incline. [Donald Duck is wrapped up in phone lines] Goofy: I guess Donald is the "Line" King. Voiceover: In the hip-hop world, you want to be phat. Goofy: Fat? It's these pants, right? Von Drake: Hello there! And welcome to Von Drake's House of Genius. This is the house, and I am the genius.