Mike Bassett: England Manager

Mike Bassett: England Manager (2001) 6.4

2001-09-26(英国)| 喜剧 运动| 英国
上映时间:2001-09-26(英国) 类型: 喜剧 运动
评分: 力荐

The manager of England's national football unexpectedly succumbs to a heart attack, and suddenly the search is on for a replacement. Most pe...更多>



Mike: How am I supposed to know. Just do whatever you want. Mike: Fucking better do this because you are fucking this up. Kids would fucking die to wear those fucknig shirts. You are all so fucking useless. You gotta prove you can fucking do this because at the moment you are fucking losing 2-0 to the fucking Mexicans. Mike: [Harpsey's phone rings, Mike snatches it off him] Will you *fuck off*? [throws Harpsey's phone to the floor] Mike: Ladies and gentlemen. England will be playing Four-Four-Fucking Two. Karine Bassett: [to Camera] Last night Mike had a dream that Bobby Moore was chasing him round Wembley Stadium shouting "Look what you've done you bloody idiot" Kevin Tonkinson: [having been arrested for drink-driving] It wasn't my fault, boss, I had to swerve to avoid the traffic! Mike: Only because you were on the wrong side of the bloody road! How many milligrams did you have? Kevin Tonkinson: 88. Mike: 88 bloody milligrams! You go on the piss all day, you've ballooned out like the Pillsbury Doughboy! You've really let me down this time, Tonka, I'm telling you. Kevin Tonkinson: I wrote an apology, boss! Mike: Oh, fuck the apology! You could go to jail for this! What sort of system am I going to play then? Three across the middle and one in bloody Pentonville? Kevin Tonkinson: [naked in the pool] Here, lads we've got a jacuzzi [farts, bubbling the water up; players laugh] Kevin Tonkinson: And again [farts again] Kevin Tonkinson: Oh bollocks, I've shit meself! [outraged, all the players walk out of the pool] [last lines] Interviewer: [after Mike and the team leave the plane] Are you going to stay on? Mike: Four more years! [cheers from crowd] Mike: I'm staying on! Interviewer: [some time into the credits] Anyone else? Pelé: Maybe Korea, Japan... Interviewer: Japan? What about England? Pelé: Not England though. Interviewer: But they've qualified, Pelé! Pelé: England? [laughs] Jornal do Rio reporter: [in Portuguese] Do you like Mike Bassett? Ronaldo: [in Portuguese] Who? Interviewer: [in interviews with Pelé as he refuses to mention England] What about England? Mike: Alright, Smallsy? Eh, you've got the best part of the dressing room, there - that's Charlton's lucky peg, that is. Smallsy: Hey, hear that lads? I've got Bobby Charlton's lucky peg! Mike: No - Jackie's. Gary Wackett: [Leading the England squad to face the Polish] Let's fucking kill them! Dr. Hans Shoegaarten: [Picking the best players used for a simulation training program] Pele, Maradona and Mark Lawrenson. Mike: Mark Lawrenson? Dr. Hans Shoegaarten: We ran out of money. Kevin Tonkinson: Why aye! It's the England reserves! Irish player: Shut your mouth, ya proddy bollocks! Alan Massey: What's the accent for? You're a cockney, you mug! Interviewer: ...And what would your father say if he could see you now? Mike: Oh, he'd probably quote Kipling or something, 'Walk with kings and all that' You see, he was like a father figure to me Interviewer: Well, obviously...


Mike Bassett: England Manager

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