The first testament says "an eye for an eye." The second testament says "love thy neighbour." The third testament KICKS ASS!...更多>
[Jesus walks out of the lake with a small bottle of lemonade] Jesus Christ: Lemonade? Father Eustace: Will there be enough? Jesus Christ: Oh, there'll be plenty. Jesus Christ: [singing a song at the Dominion] I was born in a manger / doomed to live in danger. Santo Enmascarado de Plata: He'll have you wrestling midgets in border towns for ten percent of the net. Mother Marry: [on her appreciation of lesbians] Oh, God loves them. They get so much done in a day, don't you think? Jesus Christ: If I'm not back in five minutes, call the Pope. Dr. Pretorious: We're running short on skin. We'll need to harvest more lesbians. Jesus Christ: [to the jive talking man behind the counter] Don't tempt me! [Jesus KOs a vampire] Jesus Christ: [pats body] Body of Christ! God: Jesus... Jesus Christ: Is that you, bowl of cherries? God: Do bowls of cherries talk, Jesus? Jesus Christ: I don't know. I've seen a lot of strange things over the years. God: You need help, Jesus, and I will not forsake it. Jesus Christ: Ohh, it's you Dad. So what's your advice? Jesus Christ: [on lesbians] There's nothing deviant about love The Transvestite: Jesus, honey, you're a mess! Jesus Christ: [weakly] How... did you know... my name? Jesus Christ: Not even this separates you from my love.