Fay: Sometimes we love people so much that we have to be numb to it. Because if we actually felt how much we love them, it would kill us. That doesn't make you a bad person. It just means your hearts too big. Beverly: [to Ray who has cut his hand and is bleeding profusely in the house] Stop bleeding! Stop bleeding! Beverly: I'm 22 years old - that's almost 30, and I still haven't accepted that this is my life. And I just wish that I could be dumb. And then I wouldn't know better and I could be happy and stop hoping. And I'm telling you this like you're interested in my boring life. Beverly: He's very handsome, so don't hit him in the face. Raymond Hasek: Please marry me, Bev. Because I'm shit without you. Beverly: Oh how romantic... a marriage proposal that contains the word "shit". Beverly (Age 11): For Christmas I'd like a bra, to enhance what I got, which is a lot more than that Melissa Thomas. Fay: Okay, pretend that I'm your parents, say what your gonna say. Beverly: Okay, Mom, Pop? Fay: Yeah? Beverly: I don't know how to say this... Fay: But... Beverly: I'm pregnant. Fay: My daughter's a tramp! My daughter's a tramp! You're 15 years old, how could you do this to me? Why don't you just take my gun. Take my gun and shoot me in the head with it tramp! I wish that you were never born! How was that? Beverly: I didn't go past second base, which means nothing below the waist... my waist not his. [after Jason falls into a hot tub and she is still holding him half in it] Beverly: I promise from now on I'm going to be more attentive. DO you know what attentive means? Jason (Age 6): No.
: OK. Do you know what responsible means? Jason (Age 6): No. [drops him back into hot tub] Beverly: Damn! I should've read to you more. Beverly: When will this job ever end! Jason: You call it a job! Beverly: Well, what do you think it is, a calling? Amelia: I got your message Jason: You did? Amelia: Yes, I love you too. Jason: This is the greatest converstion of my life! Amelia: We're young, we deserve to be young. We deserve to be young together. Beverly: Mom! Jason won't leave me alone! Mrs. Teresa D'Onofrio: He's not supposed to, you're his mother. Beverly: Mom, I have four weeks to study for the SATs. It's for the scholarship. Mrs. Teresa D'Onofrio: [sniffs] I told you to change his diaper an hour ago! He loves when you do it. I have to iron now. Beverly: [whining] But Mom... Mrs. Teresa D'Onofrio: Change it! Beverly: [Bev is changing Jason] Aaaaah! Aaaaah! [Races to the bathroom and starts brushing her teeth] Mrs. Teresa D'Onofrio: What? What happened? Beverly: He peed in my mouth! Mrs. Teresa D'Onofrio: [Laughs] Ha ha ha. Jason, you make your grandma so happy. Beverly: [changing Jason's diaper] Mommy has to study. I gotta do everything I can to get us out of here... Ugh, Mr. Stinky Pants. Raymond Hasek: My dad always said my head was hard as a rock. He broke his hand on it twice. Beverly: [standing on her lawn, yelling at Ray] I'm just another angry house wife, standing on her lawn and yelling at her husband! Oh yeah, that's me! Mrs. Teresa D'Onofrio: [cooing] Hello,beautiful baby. [to the nurse] Mrs. Teresa D'Onofrio: Is this not the most beautiful baby you've ever seen? I'm serious, is this not the most beautiful baby you've ever seen? Nurse: To be honest, in a while yes. Mrs. Teresa D'Onofrio: [to Leonard] Lets go see Bev. Mr. Leonard Donofrio: No. Mrs. Teresa D'Onofrio: She wants to see you Leo! Mr. Leonard Donofrio: No. [to Jason] Mr. Leonard Donofrio: Look your mother is 16, your father is a moron, and they want us to celebrate. We know better. Just for the record, I'm on your side. Beverly: The only person that's even looked at me is my crazy Aunt Mildy who keeps calling me Agnes, which by the way is my dead cousin! Aunt Mildy: Agnes! Beverly: Hi, Mildy. Aunt Mildy: [blows bev a kiss] I love you! [Beverly going through her book to find her quote] Beverly: Let me quote myself. One day can change your life. One day can ruin your life. All life is is three or four big days that change everything. Beverly: You want my permission to use a small amount of heroine forever? Beverly: [to Ray] You say that you can't quit. I believe you. But if you stay and you ruin our lives, and you know that you will, then it's my fault. Do you want me to live that? Raymond Hasek: [to young Jason] You're gonna hear a lot of bad things about me, but only two of the three things are gonna be right. Beverly: [to young Jason after he demands to be left alone] Remember, I am your mother. And that means you're not allowed to stay mad at me.