江文是清朝大内侍卫，一天有幸偷偷瞧见蓓蓓格格的花容月貌，心动不已。蓓蓓格格遭拐骗到美国新大陆，绑匪要求清朝皇帝付出十万条金条才肯放人。 於是清帝派出三名大内侍卫高手带着赎金前去搭救，江文也得以跟着御用翻译官的叔叔一起前去！ 在美国内陆，江文先是与印地安人闹出绯闻，后是结识...更多>
Princess Pei Pei: Father, is this my husband-to-be? He's a toad. If the Emperor is so fond of him, why doesn't he marry him? Medicine Man: Don't worry, it could be worse - he could be a white guy. Chon Wang: I got an idea: why don't I pretend I'm sick, and then you can attack the guard when they come in? Roy O'Bannon: Oh, you mean the sick person routine? Does that still work in China? 'Cause here it's sorta been done to death. Chon Wang: See! I told you so! Roy O'Bannon: No, you said "wet shirt don't break," not "piss shirt bend bar"! Roy O'Bannon: Ooooh... who's the pretty lady? Chon Wang: That's my wife! Roy O'Bannon: How long you been in this country? Chon Wang: Four days. Roy O'Bannon: Nice work. Roy O'Bannon: [Adjusting Chon's cowboy hat] There, sort of a rakish angle. Chon Wang: How do I look? Roy O'Bannon: I think you look great! I think you look like a real cowboy. Very dapper - red bandana. [Holding out his hand] Roy O'Bannon: Roy O'Bannon. Chon Wang: [Shaking his hand] My name is Chon Wang. Roy O'Bannon: John Wayne? Chon Wang: Chon Wang. Roy O'Bannon: That's a terrible cowboy name! Chon Wang: Why? Roy O'Bannon: No, come on. That's not gonna work. That's horrible; that's so bad! And so's the ponytail! Marshal Nathan Van Cleef: How about that? It's a Mexican standoff. Only we ain't got no Mexicans. Chon Wang: He took the gold. Roy O'Bannon: Is that all you care about, the gold? Shame on you. [Roy is watching Chon attempt to saddle his horse. The horse keeps pulling the saddle blanket off before Chon can get the saddle on] Roy O'Bannon:
Well, best of luck to you. Guess this is what your people call "sayanora." Looks like Fido's giving you some problems there. You want me to, uh, give you a hand?
Chon Wang: No, I can do it. Roy O'Bannon: *Sure* you can. H-How is a greenhorn like you gonna make it to Carson City and rescue this princess? ["Fido" pulls the saddle blanket off again. Roy sighs] Roy O'Bannon: Stop, stop, stop, stop. I can't take it any more. Watch me do it. [He takes the saddle blanket] Roy O'Bannon: You get it like this and you put it up high [demonstrates] Roy O'Bannon: . See, it'll drift back when you're riding. [pause] Roy O'Bannon: All right, I'll do it. Chon Wang: Do what? Roy O'Bannon: Take you to Carson City, help you rescue Princess Pee Pee. Chon Wang: Pei Pei! You do not care about the princess. Roy O'Bannon: You don't know me very well, do you? Tell you one thing: I hate to think of an innocent member of Chinese nobility suffering, I'll tell you that. [pause] Roy O'Bannon: You people believe in Karma over there, right? Well I've been thinking... there must be a reason why we keep running into each other. Now I've ridden with some terrible men, just people I couldn't trust, but when I look at you, there's something different about you. And I can see it, I can see it in your eyes. It's what the Indians call... chipichawa. Chon Wang: What's that? Roy O'Bannon: Chipichawa is nobility. And you have it, in spades. You got yourself a partner, and this has nothing to do with gold, okay? [Spits in his hand and offers it to Chon] Roy O'Bannon: Shake on it. Chon Wang: Why are you spitting in your hand? Roy O'Bannon: Well, it's, uh, customary to seal the deal. Come on, let's go [Chon spits into Roy's hand] Roy O'Bannon: . No, you - [wipes of his hand on his shirt] Roy O'Bannon: this is going to be a long journey. Roy O'Bannon: Now I'm gonna have to get rid of my outlaw name, it just won't work anymore. My real name's Wyatt Earp. Roy O'Bannon: Come on. We're men, we're not piÒatas! Roy O'Bannon: You've lost your "winging it" privileges! Roy O'Bannon: I don't know Karate but I do know crazy, and I will use it. Chon Wang: What happened? Roy O'Bannon: Oh nothing I just killed him, how'd you do? [Reading a reward poster] Roy O'Bannon: The Shanghai Kid. This is terrible! Chon Wang: I know. I'm not from Shanghai. Medicine Man: [on Peace Pipe] This is some pretty powerful shit. Chon Wang<
/b>: You gave me bad directions! Roy O'Bannon: No, I gave you wrong directions. [Holds up Chon's chopsticks] Roy O'Bannon: Want your toothpicks back? Chon Wang: Fight with honor. You will win. Lo Fong: One thing about the Chinese, Mr. Andrews. We do not renegotiate. Roy O'Bannon: Holy crap, the vultures are eating my head! Roy O'Bannon: [Looking at the bullet holes in his robe] It's a miracle. I am invincible. Roy! Invincible! Chon Wang: This is the West, not the East. The sun may rise where we come from... but here is where it sets. Roy O'Bannon: I feel like there's this gap between us. It's like I'm a cowboy, you're an Indian. You say wampum, I say money. It is so important, I just think that... Falling Leaves: (kisses Roy) Shut up, Roy. You talk too much. Imperial Guard: Chon Wang! Roy O'Bannon: That's right, Johnny Wayne's here. Roy O'Bannon: Yes, John, I've heard all about the Emperor. Must be one hell of a man. Chon Wang: He's only twelve. Roy O'Bannon: Are you kidding me? You're sitting here, waiting to die for someone whose balls haven't even dropped? Roy O'Bannon: First time you ever see an outlaw? [Pretty victim nods] Roy O'Bannon: Scared? Kind of excited, too? All mixed up? Yeah. Last train we robbed we were naked it was so hot out. [Chon gives Roy a pair of chopsticks to dig with] Chon Wang: Dig. Roy O'Bannon: Hey! Chon Wang: Don't talk. Just dig. Roy O'Bannon: Just relax. [Chon glowers menacingly] Roy O'Bannon: Is that relaxed? You look sort of rigid there. Roy O'Bannon: Let me put it this way. My horse is definitely not my best friend. [Watching the three Imperial Guards at sword practice] Jedediah's wife: They're not like any Injuns I ever seen, Jedediah. Jedediah: That's because they're not Injuns, woman. They're Jews! Jedediah's wife: [watching Chon Wang practice] They don't look like any Injuns I ever seen, Jedediah. Jedediah: Thats because they're not Injuns, woman! They're Jews! [as Roy and Chon are about to be strung up] Carson City Hangman: Nothing personal, boys.