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"Jackie Chan Adventures"
(2000)
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剧 情
Jackie Chan, an amateur archelogist, would prefer to quietly do his work for the local university, but fate has dealt another hand. That hap...
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Uncle:
You forget to make coffee this morning! Coffee is the only thing keeping Uncle's ancient heart beating! You want dead Uncle?
[after the Dark Hand arrives to get the tiger talisman]
Jade:
What are we gonna do?
Jackie Dark:
Laugh like clowns while they beg for mercy.
Jackie Light:
RUN! This is no place for children!
Jackie:
Jade, these are my friends.
Jade:
Your friends knocked you out and took you to their secret underground base?
Jackie:
Uhm... yes.
Jade:
America is SO cool!
Jackie Chan:
Captain Black, I thought all Dark Hand matters had been reassigned to Section 12?
Capt. Black:
That may be so, but I'm not gonna sit pretty while the Dark Hand strolls into my backyard to had a hall pass to a hobgoblin.
Jade:
Captain Black is in the house.
Ratso:
[grabbing talisman bag] We'll take those.
Chow:
Who the heck are you?
Finn:
Oooh, I know! He's the drummer from KISS!
[Jackie has just been rendered mute, and is mouthing at Uncle]
Uncle:
[smacks him] I cannot read your lips! Your accent is too thick!
Jade:
Have the movies taught you nothing? Whoever goes to get the firewood is always the creeping terror's first victim!
Jackie:
So THAT'S what happened to the other little girl I sent to get firewood...
Finn:
"That'll teach you to mess with Finn " (Uncle zaps him with his magic blowfish.)
Uncle:
And that will teach you to mess with Uncle, Original Recipe.
[Shen Du has taken possession of Jade's body at an amusement park and is posing for a photo]
Melvin Moose:
Duh, smile for the camera.
Shen Du (in Jade's body):
Soon, I will devour your soul.
Melvin Moose:
[gasp]
[Uncle has accidently placed the spirits of Jackie and Jade in the wrong bodies]
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b>Uncle:
I told you it was complicated!
Jackie Chan:
[In Jade's body, pointing to Jade's fringe] Jade, How do you keep this out of your eyes?
Tohru:
If I was a clone, would I know?
Capt. Black, Jackie, Jade:
Tohru has a mommy?
[repeated line]
Uncle:
One more thing...
Uncle:
Magic must defeat magic.
Future Jade:
Dragon's breath is magic, duh!
Uncle:
Jackie, who is smarty-pants know-it-all good chi wizard who looks like Jade?
[realizes it's Adult Jade]
Uncle:
Ay ya!
Tohru:
[speaking like Jade] I'll be stuck in Jade mode, forever? eeww.
Jade:
[speaking like Uncle] You would rather have Uncle's chi? I cannot stop thinking about digestion!
[after the Ox talisman turns her into a musclebound powerhouse]
Jade:
Whoa... Talismans. They do a body *good.*
[repeated line]
Uncle:
Aiiee-yaaaahh!
Uncle:
Yu Mo Gui Gwai Fie Di Jow!... Evil spirits and malevolent demons, be gone!
Uncle:
Uncle does not know. Does Uncle look like psychic?
Uncle:
Uncle is grumpy old geezer...!
Uncle:
Do not question Uncle!
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