A young woman named Virginia (Kimberly Williams) and her father, Tony (John Larroquette) are lured into a land where fairy tales are real! B...更多>
Evil Queen: I hope you like dogs, Wendell. You're going to spend the rest of your life as one. Evil Queen: I've turned Prince Wendell into a dog. Wolf: Good idea. Wolf: [singing] A shepherdess makes quite a mess, but little lambs are lovely. Wolf: No, no! "Rare" implies dangerously cooked. When I say rare I mean just let it look at the oven in terror, then bring it out to me. Burly: Suck an elf! Virginia: I've gone crazy. How can I be talking to a dog? Prince Wendell: Bark! Bark! Virginia: Yes, I have. Don't try and reassure me. Wolf: Doc, I met this terrific girl and I really really really like her. But, the thing is... Dr. Horowitz: Well, go on, say it. Say it! Wolf: I'm not sure whether I wanna love her or eat her. Burly: This could be a long torture session. Virginia: I'll tell you anything you want to know. Burly: Torture first, then you talk. It's better that way. Rush a torture, ruin a torture. Wolf: Don't worry, I'm not who I used to be. I've had extensive therapy. I realize I have been using food as a substitute for love and I have the books to prove it - "Breaking the Cycle", "Heal Yourself in 7 Days", "Stop Blaming Yourself, Please", and "Help for the Bedwetting Child", which I picked up by mistake. Wolf: I get the feeling you still don't completely trust me. Virginia: I don't trust you at all! You tried to eat my Grandmother. Virginia: I'm gonna die of long hair! Wolf: Forgive us, noble woodsman, but have you seen a gorgeous girl with very long hair? Woodsman: I haven't seen anything, I'm blind. Tony: A blind woodsman? Woodsman: Have you ever seen a tree move?
: I've always wanted to say this. Love of my life, let down your lustrous locks. Tony: [about Virginia] I need to know if your intentions are honorable. Wolf: No, not really. Virginia: Well, at least things can't get any worse. Prince Wendell: Happy ever after didn't last as long as we'd hoped. Prince Wendell: This has been a test of kinghood, and I have failed dismally. Evil Queen: Is there something you wanted to get off your chest? Prince Wendell: I refuse to be a man. I won't do it any longer. I insist on being a dog. Prince Wendell: I demand to be a happy puppy! Virginia: I have a hard time trusting people. I just never wanna jump unless I'm sure somebody's gonna catch me. Wolf: Oh, I'll catch you. And if I miss for any reason, I'll sit by your bedside and nurse you back to health. Gustav the Magic Mirror: An answer only will I chime, when questions put are asked in rhyme. Dwarf Librarian: All early mirrors talk in verse. Tony: Yes, of course. Virginia: Our mirror's smashed, what can we do? Where the hell are the other two? Gustav the Magic Mirror: Mirror one shattered be, by an oaf named Antony. Mirror two is on a bed with barnacles upon its head. Tony: A bed... with barnacles. Virginia: The sea bed! Dwarf Librarian: Yes. One fell into the Great Northern Sea. I think you can safely discount that one. Gustav the Magic Mirror: What you seek has not been seen, since it was stolen by the Queen. Tony: The Queen! That's all we need. Prince Wendell: Antony, uh, any chance of a little biscut? Tony: No, no, no, um... [sputtering] Tony: Very helpful you have been, just tell us where we can find the Queen. Gustav the Magic Mirror: Near she is, but not alone. In a place that is not her home. In a castle, out of sight, where once the Queen was called Snow White. Tony: That's Prince Wendell's castle. Virginia: For seven men she gave her life. For one good man she was his wife. Beneath the ice by Snow White Falls, there lies the fairest of them all. Snow White: Hello, Virginia. You look tired. Virginia: Are you dead? Snow White: Well, yes. I think you'd have to say so. I'm more into the fairy-godmother, occasional-appearance sorta thing now. Snow White:
You're cold. You're cold, Virginia. How did you become so cold? You are still lost in the forest. But lonely, lost girls like us can rescue themselves. You are standing on the edge of greatness.