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Debi:
My work here is done. Time for the ritualistic sex!
Debi:
There is evil out there, and I'm gonna kick its ass!
Anton:
Who's your daddy now, bitch, huh? Who's your fucking daddy now?
Mick:
That is some one-hit shit.
Pnub:
As usual, marijuana saves an otherwise disastrous day.
Anton:
Hey, I didn't kill anyone on purpose, okay?
Mick:
Yeah, well, we weren't in hell! I mean, there was this bright white light at the end of a long tunnel, right, and there was these chicks' voices, and that music...
Anton:
Music?
Pnub:
Yeah, kinda uncool music, like, Enya. And these chicks' voices, they were saying, "come to us, come towards the light".
Anton:
So what happened?
Mick:
We figured, fuck it, I mean, it was really far!
Mick:
[to 911 operator] There is something wrong with my friend, I think he smoked some nutmeg or something.
Anton:
So, what are you guys doing here?
Pnub:
We need a place to kick it. Don't be selfish, Anton! No one else's parents are dead!
Pnub:
And if your mother had teeth, she wouldn't suck dick so well. What's your point?"
Mick:
I'm gonna go call What's the number?
Anton:
[singing] Devil girl, with nothin' to lose, she's got wind in her hair and gum on her sho-o-o-es!
Anton:
We're gathered here today... um... because you're all dead.
Mick:
[holding an electric carving knife] Look at me! Look at me! I'm Leatherface!
[Anton is about to chop off his 'evil' right hand]
Mick:
Wait a minute. If you chop off your right hand, how are you going to chop the other one off?
Anton:
Oh no, man, the lefty's a keeper. I mean, I guess it wasn't idle enough.
Mick:
Really?
Anton:
Oh yeah, I mean, I hit the remote with it, light up with it, relieve a little tension. No, this is the answer.
Anton:
You lied to me!
Mick:
You killed me, let's try to keep this thing in perspective here!
Anton:
Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today because you're all dead... and it's all my fault. Mom, Dad, you fed me, kept a roof over my head until I killed you. Which I guess doesn't make me a very good son. But, I'm gonna try to change.
[hand twitches]
Anton:
Mick, Pnub I'll never forget all those times we sat around, watched TV and got really, really stoned. And all those other times we just... well I guess that's all we did.
[picks flowers from garden and throws them over the 'graves']
Anton:
Amen.
Anton:
What the fuck are you doing, man? Come on, that's my dad!
Pnub:
CPR, man! I saw it on Baywatch, man!
Pnub:
Maybe we should clean that up.
Mick:
Yeah, and while we're at it, let's just clean the whole fuckin' house.
Mick:
Yeah, I was a little bitter about the getting killed by my best friend thing, but I've had time to get over it.
Pnub:
Why would we go to hell? We're not bad, we're not exactly good or anything, but at least we don't go around killing people!
Girl outside Burger Jungle:
Like this one time they asked me to go on a double date, and I thought they were 'tards or something...
[starts crying]
Girl outside Burger Jungle:
... so I told them to go blow each other.
Randy:
Wow! Did they?
Anton:
[while attempting to cut his hand off] This is it, I know it.
Pnub:
Those things won't even cut my bagel.
Pnub:
You scream like a girl.
Anton:
All I do is sit around all day, smoke pot, watch TV...
Mick:
No, no! No Kevin Costner speech, let's just go!
Mick:
Anton it's killing me to see me to see you this stressed out man. You cut off your hand in the interest of who knows how many others. So, what I want you to do is take a little Anton time. Okay just relax, kick back my man.
Anton:
No, no, no, you know what? Not this time. Okay I'm through with that, I mean all I do is I sit around all day I veg out, I watch TV, I smoke pot ...
Mick:
No, no, no, no Kevin Costner speeches okay? Let's just go.
Pnub:
Hey, don't forget my bong.
Mick:
You did not make that bong.
Pnub:
Yeah, I arc-welded it and shit.
Mick:
You don't even take auto shop.
Pnub:
Fuck you!
Pnub:
This ain't Dominos you lazy bitch, come get it yourself!
Mick:
It's Mighty Joe bong!
Pnub:
Why don't you just go over there and tell her your name. Maybe she'll think you're... funny or something.
Anton:
Everybody go home, there's a psycho killer here! I cut off my hand, and now it's gonna kill you all!
Tanya:
No, screw him! I mean, he'll be fine.
[Molly's dress rips revealing her underwear]
Pnub:
Bet she wins best costume.
Mick:
SWEET JESUS!
Pnub:
Ok, that wasn't my fault, that thing should've come down a LOT slower!
Mick:
Let's go walk through a nurse.
Mick:
Hey, you're right, Anton screams like a girl.
[after the anticlimactic destruction of the hand]
Mick:
That's it? That's it? No explosions, no hellfire, no -
[screeches demonically]
Mick:
I mean, no, I'm glad everybody's all right, but... that was weak.
Randy:
Oh man, I cannot believe you cock-blocked me like that. I thought we were buds!
[after seeing the message on the ceiling]
Dad Tobias:
It's just a prank
[clicks off flashlight]
Dad Tobias:
Anton.
Mom Tobias:
Anton? Our little scooter would never do something like that!
Dad Tobias:
Quit calling him that baby name. Anton would not scoot his behind off the couch if the house was on fire!
Anton:
[Hears moaning coming from Mick's grave] Mick?
Mick:
Over here. Anton, help me. Come on, man, I can't breathe down here. Anton? Anton, can you hear me?
Anton:
[Kneels and leans over Mick's grave] Mick?
Mick:
Yeah man, it's Mick.
Anton:
You're dead!
Mick:
No I'm not! You conked me on the head pretty good. I must've been unconcious.
Anton:
You think?
Mick:
I know fucker, now dig me up!
Pnub:
Don't you watch the news?
Anton:
I hate that fucking show.
Randy:
Idle hands are the devil's playground.
Pnub:
Watch the head. It's on kinda loose.复制复制成功复制失败，请手动复制
