恋爱教室 (1999)

Grandma Gallagher:

Mary Katherine, what are you doing?

Mary Katherine Gallagher:

I'm using my telekineses to kill the girl who poured pig's blood on me at the prom.

Mary Katherine Gallagher:

These are my BREASTS. They're so BIG. I need a BRA to strap them and support because they're so HUGE they need to be hooked and strapped for support. My big boobs, this one is bigger than this one 'cause is the mommy and that's the baby. And this one is very nice to this one and they hold hands because they're FRIENDS!

Mary Katherine Gallagher:

Oh my God!

Jesus:

Oh my Me! How are you?

Mary Katherine Gallagher:

It's going OK. Are you the Lord?

Jesus:

Well, to you I am. See, technically, you're, like, in this REM sleep state, and I'm a mixture of your mind's images of God, some past authority figures, uh, Skye, and your dad. Basically, your subconcsious came up with me to help you deal. Dig?

Mary Katherine Gallagher:

Yeah... uh, you want a glass of water or something?

Jesus:

No, I'm good. I'm God!

Mary Katherine Gallagher:

Oh. Right.

Mary Katherine Gallagher:

Are you aware that I am rubber, and you are glue, and whatever you say to me bounces off, of me, and sticks to you? So put that in your, back pocket.

[Communion]

Father Ritley:

Body of Christ.

Evian Graham:

Are these non-fat?

Mary Katherine Gallagher:

Sometimes, when I get nervous, I stick my hands under my armpits and than I smell them like this!

Father:

Thomas Smith?

Thomas:

Here! But I don't know where here is man, 'cause I'm so wasted man!

Father:

Thomas, it is a sin to even pretend that you-you-you're baked.

Mary Katherine Gallagher:

SUPERSTAR!

Mary Katherine Gallagher:

I think they get the point Grandma.

Grandma Gallagher:

Wait, I've got two more. When I say tap, you tap, and when I say booga booga, you booga booga.

Maria Ganitisis:

What's booga booga mean?

Grandma Gallagher:

I don't know, but if I say it you better fuckin figure it out!

Mary Katherine Gallagher<

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Oh look at you, my pretty little girl, sitting there with your face all painted up in your little halter top, you're nothing but a little slut.

Mary Katherine Gallagher:

Don't call me that! I'm a Puerto Rican lady senor.

Mary Katherine Gallagher:

You're nothing but a little slut, Sybill Ann Dorsett, we know you're a little slut.

Mary Katherine Gallagher:

I'm not a slut. I'm not a slut. I'm not a slut. I'm not a slut. I'M NO SLUT!

Jesus:

The Lord God is materializing in a highway to guide you to her.

Mary Katherine Gallagher:

So what really happened to your parents?

Slater:

They were savagely ripped apart and eaten by a school of hammerhead sharks.

Mary Katherine Gallagher:

That happens a lot.

Mary Katherine Gallagher:

[Mary when young] Your birthmark looks like shit!

Mary Katherine Gallagher:

[to Evian] Go drink a bottle of yourself!

Summer Falls:

[to Mary] Panty stain!

Howard Feinstein:

[Owen kisses Howard] What, are you gay?

Owen Flanagan:

Five times more gay than you think. Four more to go, peaches.

[Owen kisses Howard four more times]

Mary Katherine Gallagher:

[coming home late after auditioning] I stayed after school to study business.

Mary Katherine Gallagher:

[to Evian] Well, you should be embarrassed because your parents named you after bottled water!

Dylan Schmultz-Plutzker:

VD Rules!

Father John Insomnic:

Maria Ganitisis?

Maria Ganitisis:

HERE! But the devil speaks for me, obviously.

Helen Lewengrub:

No, but once Owen kissed me on the cheek five times! Hi Owen!

Owen Flanagan:

Hi, hi hi... hi... hi.

Father Ritley:

Marym Katherine, what was that horrible thing you said to Sister Eileen?

Mary Katherine Gallagher:

I told her to move her big white butt or I would cold cock her honky ass