advertisement Stan: Male maintenance person entering female lavatory area! Bren: Have you never seen "Vertigo"? Norman: Seen it? I've got it. Tony: Are you all right Bren? Did you get any? Bren: What? Tony: At the weekend! Did you get any? Bren: Any sex? No I had to go to the laundrette. Did you, Tony? Tony: Hollow flipping laughter. Tony: All a bloke really wants for Christmas is a voucher that says, "Take this to 32 Sycamore Avenue. Mrs. Janet Farnesbarnes will be stark naked waiting for you. You can have as long as you like, you get a cup of tea afterwards and you don't have to have a bloody conversation!" Tony: I'm a lonely celibate, me. I do nothing. I go home and fry eggs. If I ever do get a girl to come back to my place I won't know what to do with her. I'll be flicking hot fat at her with a spatula. [Dolly has revealed that she and her husband are going on a luxury cruise] Jean: Luxury, my do dah! It's a converted World War Two aircraft carrier! Dolly Belfield: We have our own suite, our own balcony... Jean: Your own Bofors Gun! Anita: [on the topic of Christmas decorations] Is genitalia the silver stuff you drape over the branches? Philippa Moorcroft: [running late for a Millennium celebration] Never mind your coffee, get in the bloody, bloody, bloody frigging car! Jane: [on the subject of the holiday to Marbella] So is there anyone you want to bring? Tony: What "bring" bring? Jane: No not "bring" bring, just bring. Twinkle: You can get phones that do that. Tony: [last scene of the series] Do you think we'll live happily ever after? Bren: No, I think we'll go on buggering about as normal. Tony: You do love me though, don't you? Bren: Of course I do. Tony: Make us a brew then! Norman: I'm agoraphobic. I fell off a diving board in Guernsey! Petula Gordino: [going to hospital] What ward will I be on? Paramedic: 8 Petula Gordino: Mixed isn't it? - might have a bit of sex. Dolly Belfield: I didn't just come up the Manchester Ship Canal on a Ryvita, you know. Stan: You don't treat a female woman like that. Tony: I didn't go mad this morning and order one old lady instead of a load of broccoli? Stan: [on being asked what his Millennium regrets are] I failed to exploit the potential of the cross-head screwdriver. It was publicly pretty shameful. Stan: That's Frank Sinatra on toast, is that. Sue: Now that's very interesting. You see, I believe in a world of infinite possibility.