Brad Sexton: That's what women do to men. It's called love. Brad Sexton: So I went into Saks to get some socks, got a suit and some sex. Caroline Sexton: Wow. It's soft over here. Brad Sexton: [mutter] That's because you're sitting in cow dung. Caroline Sexton: What did you say? Brad Sexton: I said my oh my is that cow hung. Caroline Sexton: You're such a pervert. Brad Sexton: [standing under the rear of a bull statue] This is bullshit! Brad Sexton: Good food, good meat. Good God, let's eat! Caroline Sexton: Well, after tonight I don't know how I'll *ever* face my friends again. Brad Sexton: Just pretend they're a mirror. Caroline Sexton: You're so funny, honey - actually I'll just admit to them that I'm married to a *moron*. Brad Sexton: Well, this *moron* built you this fabulous lifestyle. Caroline Sexton: Oh, please. I brought you from K-Mart to Tiffany's! But without me, Brad, you'd be nothing [she blows cigarette smoke in his face. He splutters] Brad Sexton: We are plowin' now! Caroline Sexton: [Somebody cuts Caroline's credit cards, she immediately blames it on Brad] Caroline Sexton: Ugh, that *bastard*! [Brads account is frozen, he thinks Caroline is the guilty party] Brad Sexton: That *bitch* [Caroline is covered in muck] Caroline Sexton: [about her husband] Ugh! That bastard knew that was cow shit! [Brad has just managed to crash their car - a stole taxi - into a lake] Brad Sexton: [trying to help her out] Are you all right? Caroline Sexton: No, I'm *not* all right, you *idiot*! Brad Sexton: Come on! Caroline Sexton: Get out of my way! I'll do it myself! Caroline Sexton: [flailing her arms around] Help! I'm drowning! Please Brad help, don't let me die! [the Sextons are arguing after a bad impression at their anniversary party] Caroline Sexton:
[after he has just suggested splitting fifty fifty of theit estate, and she refused and said not on his life]
Then it'll get ugly! Caroline Sexton: Good! I can do ugly! I've done *you* after the last ten years! Brad Sexton: As memories serve, you stopped doing me after six and a half! [pauses] Brad Sexton: Happy anniversary, honey! Caroline Sexton: *FUCK* OFF! Brad Sexton: [dryly] Okay... Tourist Man: Look, what's this gonna take, huh? Whaddaya need? Five bucks? A little Amish Lincoln? Frank Hall, IRS: [after Lester fires gun at Brad, breaking his satellite phone] I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU JUST SHOT AT HIM! Insp. Derek Lester: He had a gun! Frank Hall, IRS: HE HAD A PHONE! Insp. Derek Lester: Oh. [lowers gun] Insp. Derek Lester: Well, this should discourage further violations of the tax code. Frank Hall, IRS: [after both crash into Dunker's Pond and into the sunken taxicab] I think I messed myself, sir. Insp. Derek Lester: Walk it off, son.