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Dylan:
We're about to become the proud possessors of 2 million quid in useless notes because the queen doesn't like her picture. Jesus Christ, it's self, self, self for some people!
Dylan:
Would you allow me the pleasure of taking you to the theatre on Saturday night?
Georgie:
Do you ask all your secretaries to go to the theatre with you on their first date?
Dylan:
Actually, it's something of a tradition. Yes, I do.
Georgie:
Oh. Well, who am I to deprive an American of what little tradition he can get?
[inside the night-club]
Dylan:
[seductively] I want to pleasure you with my tongue.
[Georgie walks away in disgust. She sees Jez who has been waiting for her outside the night-club, dressed in his shorts after escaping from his "quick-release trousers"]
Georgie:
Hello.
Jez:
Hi.
Georgie:
This is a surpr
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ff5
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ise.
Jez:
Yeah, isn't it.
Georgie:
What are you doing here? Was it Scouts tonight?
Jez:
No, no. I was just passing. Are you OK?
Georgie:
[unconvincingly] Yeah.
Jez:
Did he try to "pleasure you with his tongue"?
Georgie:
Is it that obvious?
Jez:
It's kind of a compulsion with him. He has to exchange fluids with everyone he meets. That's why we never have pets.
Jez:
Dylan's completely trustworthy. He's just a bit unreliable in some areas.
Georgie:
I feel like Wedding-Day Barbie. I couldn't be happier.
Dylan:
Now *that* is a thing of beauty.
Jez:
Who you're flirting with.
Dylan:
You fallen?
Jez:
No I haven't.
Dylan:
Jez, you've got a little bit of a crush? You're wasting your time.
Jez:
I know: you're good looking and I'm too technical.
Dylan:
Jez, you've got to stop punishing yourself. You're not too technical, just ugly, gross ugly.
[helium voice]
Jockey:
I knew if he got the right conditions we'd be flyin'.
Friend of Lady Georgina:
Well done! Marvellous race, Lady Georgina.
Georgie:
Oh thank you. Oh, I forgot to mention that.
Jez:
*Lady* Georgina?
Georgie:
You're not cross, are you? No you're not, you're pleased.
Dylan:
Doctor, peer of the realm and secretarial skills? Who'd be cross?
Police detective:
Sir, so far the only proof of a burglary is that someone stopped your video taping Blind Date.
Mrs Ray:
Bastards!
Mr Ray:
Oh, shut it!
Georgie:
How long have you been in England?
Dylan:
Five years.
Georgie:
And you still stay 'bucks' and 'babe'?
[Jez is discovered in the Rays' house. He tries to escape but Geoff catches hold of his trousers as he is climbing over the fence]
Geoff:
[gleefully] I've got you now, boy. I've got you now.
[Jez presses a button on his waistband and shoots upwards and over the fence, minus his trousers]
Jez:
[to himself] All praise to my quick-release trousers.
[filling in "complete the following phrase" coupons for prize draws]
Jez:
"In not more than eight words, explain why you buy Zappy Nappies."
Dylan:
"I buy Zappy Nappies for my kids..." Shit, I've run out of words.
Jez:
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90
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We could try that: "I buy Zappy Nappies for my kids' shit." I've got it: "Weighs less that a bun. Holds more than a ton."
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ee9
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Dylan:
That's completely disgusting.
Jez:
But it's honest.
[Georgie is fast asleep next to Jez in the car]
Dylan:
You know, I can see it now - she's a stunningly attractive woman.
Jez:
It means she's relaxed in our company.
Dylan:
If she relaxes any more it could get very messy.
Jez:
Don't. She might hear you.
Dylan:
Jez, look at her. She's wasted. God only knows what she was up to last night.
Jez:
You're twisted. She's got charm and warmth and...
Dylan:
...and neat little sit-up breasts.
Jez:
I was wondering... would you... perhaps you'd might consider... or... or think about... possibly...
Dylan:
I think he's trying to ask you if you'd like to kiss him.
Georgie:
Oh, go on then.
[Jez and Georgie kiss passionately]
Dylan:
Has the British aristocracy lost all sense of decency?
[sees Floss approaching]
Dylan:
I certainly hope so.
Georgie:
No. Never trust a man with woman's hips.
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