Dylan: We're about to become the proud possessors of 2 million quid in useless notes because the queen doesn't like her picture. Jesus Christ, it's self, self, self for some people! Dylan: Would you allow me the pleasure of taking you to the theatre on Saturday night? Georgie: Do you ask all your secretaries to go to the theatre with you on their first date? Dylan: Actually, it's something of a tradition. Yes, I do. Georgie: Oh. Well, who am I to deprive an American of what little tradition he can get? [inside the night-club] Dylan: [seductively] I want to pleasure you with my tongue. [Georgie walks away in disgust. She sees Jez who has been waiting for her outside the night-club, dressed in his shorts after escaping from his "quick-release trousers"] Georgie: Hello. Jez: Hi. Georgie: This is a surpr
ise. Jez: Yeah, isn't it. Georgie: What are you doing here? Was it Scouts tonight? Jez: No, no. I was just passing. Are you OK? Georgie: [unconvincingly] Yeah. Jez: Did he try to "pleasure you with his tongue"? Georgie: Is it that obvious? Jez: It's kind of a compulsion with him. He has to exchange fluids with everyone he meets. That's why we never have pets. Jez: Dylan's completely trustworthy. He's just a bit unreliable in some areas. Georgie: I feel like Wedding-Day Barbie. I couldn't be happier. Dylan: Now *that* is a thing of beauty. Jez: Who you're flirting with. Dylan: You fallen? Jez: No I haven't. Dylan: Jez, you've got a little bit of a crush? You're wasting your time. Jez: I know: you're good looking and I'm too technical. Dylan: Jez, you've got to stop punishing yourself. You're not too technical, just ugly, gross ugly. [helium voice] Jockey: I knew if he got the right conditions we'd be flyin'. Friend of Lady Georgina: Well done! Marvellous race, Lady Georgina. Georgie: Oh thank you. Oh, I forgot to mention that. Jez: *Lady* Georgina? Georgie: You're not cross, are you? No you're not, you're pleased. Dylan: Doctor, peer of the realm and secretarial skills? Who'd be cross? Police detective: Sir, so far the only proof of a burglary is that someone stopped your video taping Blind Date. Mrs Ray: Bastards! Mr Ray: Oh, shut it! Georgie: How long have you been in England? Dylan: Five years. Georgie: And you still stay 'bucks' and 'babe'? [Jez is discovered in the Rays' house. He tries to escape but Geoff catches hold of his trousers as he is climbing over the fence] Geoff: [gleefully] I've got you now, boy. I've got you now. [Jez presses a button on his waistband and shoots upwards and over the fence, minus his trousers] Jez: [to himself] All praise to my quick-release trousers. [filling in "complete the following phrase" coupons for prize draws] Jez: "In not more than eight words, explain why you buy Zappy Nappies." Dylan: "I buy Zappy Nappies for my kids..." Shit, I've run out of words. Jez:
We could try that: "I buy Zappy Nappies for my kids' shit." I've got it: "Weighs less that a bun. Holds more than a ton."
Dylan: That's completely disgusting. Jez: But it's honest. [Georgie is fast asleep next to Jez in the car] Dylan: You know, I can see it now - she's a stunningly attractive woman. Jez: It means she's relaxed in our company. Dylan: If she relaxes any more it could get very messy. Jez: Don't. She might hear you. Dylan: Jez, look at her. She's wasted. God only knows what she was up to last night. Jez: You're twisted. She's got charm and warmth and... Dylan: ...and neat little sit-up breasts. Jez: I was wondering... would you... perhaps you'd might consider... or... or think about... possibly... Dylan: I think he's trying to ask you if you'd like to kiss him. Georgie: Oh, go on then. [Jez and Georgie kiss passionately] Dylan: Has the British aristocracy lost all sense of decency? [sees Floss approaching] Dylan: I certainly hope so. Georgie: No. Never trust a man with woman's hips.