Rusty: I put a dollar in, I got a car. I put a dollar in, I got a car. I put a dollar in, I got a car. I put a dollar in, I got a car. Clark Griswold: How did you win four cars? Rusty: You know, put in a dollar, win a car. Put in another dollar, win another car... Clark Griswold: Give me the keys. Audrey, you drive the white one; Ellen, the red one [a Ferrari] Clark Griswold: , Rusty, you drive the Mustang, and I'll drive the big, black one [a Hummer] Clark Griswold: . After you, Mr. Papagiorgio. Ellen Griswold: [Clark and Ellen have found Rusty] Russell Griswold! You get out of that hot tub right now! Girl in Hot Tub: I'm sorry, you have the wrong person. This is Mr. Papagiorgio. Ellen Griswold: His name's not Papagiorgio! It's Rusty Griswold and he's a C+ student! Clark Griswold: [Clark and Ellen have found Audrey dancing at the Club Aereola] Audrey! What are you doing? Ten years of tap dancing lessons and this is the way you repay us? Audrey Griswold: What? You told me to get a summer job! Rusty: Isn't there legalized prostitution in Vegas? Cousin Eddie: I haven't seen a beatin' like that since somebody stuck a banana in my pants and turned a monkey loose. Clark Griswold: Thanks for the pick me up Eddie. Rusty: Holy crap, Wayne Newton's hittin' on Mom! Clark Griswold: It's all part of the act, Russ. Wayne Newton: You got a lovely wife, Clark. Clark Griswold: Yes, that's why I entered into the sacred bonds of marriage with her. Cousin Eddie: It is a blazer out there. You're lucky you got air conditioning in here like mother nature intended. Clark Griswold: Eddie, has anyone ever told you you're bad luck? Cousin Eddie: Those were my mother's dying words. But I guess if your body's covered in third degree burns, and your foot's caught in a bear trap, you tend to start talkin' crazy. Rusty:
Can't you just wrap me up in a blanket and roll me across the bed again?
Rusty: So I says to him, I said "Get your own monkey!" Clark Griswold: Where the hell is the damn dam tour? Hoover Dam Guide: I am your dam guide, Arnie, please don't wander off the dam tour and please take all the dam pictures you want. Now are there any dam questions? Cousin Eddie: Yeah, where can I get some damn bait? [Clark is playing blackjack] Clark Griswold: Twenty. I'll stay. Marty: [flips over his card] Wha...? It's twenty. It's a push! Clark Griswold: I didn't lose! Marty: That's it, Griswold! You are freakin dead! [Marty points to the Table Limit Sign $10 minimum] Marty: Come on, Griswold, You think that sign is there to hold the table down? Clark Griswold: What can I do with five dollars? Marty: Gee, I don't know. Buy a bullet and rent a gun? Clark Griswold: [to his kids, played by the fourth different set of actors in as many "Vacation" movies] You guys are growing up so fast, I hardly recognize you anymore! Wayne Newton: Ellen, I've always been a moral man. But my resolve is melting in the light of your blinding smile. Ellen Griswold: Um, maybe you're just hungry, would you like some more pasta? Clark Griswold: I've lost three hundred dollars in fifteen minutes? [Eddie, having taken a sip of beer, chokes and spits it out] Cousin Eddie: Come on, Clark, the night is young... they're giving away free hot sandwiches at the blood bank. Mirage Reception Person: Welcome to the Mirage. May I have your credit card please? Clark Griswold: Yes, indeedy. Clark W. Griswold the fourth. Mirage Reception Person: You know, we have an excellent dry cleaning service here, if you're so inclined. Clark Griswold: Oh, uh? it's? it's a bbbirthmark. Mirage Reception Person: Uh-huh. Now in order to get to your rooms, you need to go this way to through the casino. Veer to your left. Take a sharp right at the first giant palm tree. You'll see a group of blackjack tables. Not baccarat, not craps, blackjack. Keep going, and wind around to your left. If you get to the pool, you've gone too far, back up and take another right. You'll see a bank of elevators. Those aren't your elevators, stay away from them. But keep going, you'll see another bank of elevators, the gold ones, those are yours. Take them up to the tenth floor, take a right, and at the end of the hall you'll find your room. Any questions? Clark Griswold: Huh- Russ? Russ! Rusty: Yeah, Dad. Clark Griswold: Did you get that?