Archie Moses: You'd better not kill me, man, I've got shit to do tomorrow! Archie Moses: You can't stop fucking me over, can you? Archie Moses: You wank off a lot? Chuck: What's a lot? Archie Moses: You know, you got 5 minutes off, slip into one of the rooms, pull down your lil' panty's wack it. Archie Moses: In actuality, I was hitting on her harder than you think, motherfucker! So why don't you step the fuck back before I bitch slap your fucking heiney! Cop: Sir, have you had anything to drink today? Archie Moses: [drunk] I had about a half a beer, the dog had a lot. Traci: Jack, Colton made me do it. He would've killed me if I hadn't done it... Archie Moses: Ooh, watch it now, Keats, l she's playin' you. Traci: But then I fell in love with you. Archie Moses: But... then I fell... shut the fuck up! Traci: I swear to God I did! Archie Moses: Ah, she's lyin' out her devil ass! Traci: Will you shut the fuck up? Archie Moses: Why don't you make me? [she knocks the gun out of his hand and punches him, sending him down the stairs] Archie Moses: Jesus... I gotta learn how to fight; this is pathetic. Archie Moses: Wow, Awesome! They got porno! Archie Moses: Hey, Man! What are you doing? You just wasted good weed! Archie Moses: [singing] And I will always love you... Keats: WILL YOU SHUT UP? SHUT THE HELL UP! Archie Moses: See that, your head hurts 'cus you feel guilty. Keats: My head hurts 'cus you shot me in it! Archie Moses: I saved our fuckin' life! Archie Moses: I got piss on me! Archie Moses: This is a '70s porno. You know how I can tell? Because the guy's dick has sideburns. Archie Moses: I don't like your God. Your God scares me. Archie Moses: I see you've got porno here Chuck: Yes, we have an excellent selection Archie Moses: Good I
like the porn Chuck: Well, good Archie Moses: [Trying to escape out of the window in the shower, Keats puts his gun in his ass] AAAAAAAAGGGGGGHHHHH! Keats: Let me guess. You dropped the soap! Archie Moses: Please take that thing out of my ass. Keats: [Charlie, the motel manager looks up and sees them] I want you on the bed. Now.