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- 片 名笨人一族
- 上映时间1996年10月17日
- 导 演
约翰·兰迪斯
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剧 情
几年前，我跟一个寡妇结了婚，她有一个已成年的女儿。后来我父亲跟我妻子的女儿结了婚。我女儿就成了我继母，我父亲成了我女婿。两年后我妻子为我生了个儿子，她是我后母同母异父的弟弟， 儿子管我叫爸爸，我管我儿子叫舅舅。我女儿又为我的父亲生了一个儿子，她是我的弟弟，但他又必须得管...
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Tom Arnold
演员
饰Stanley Stupi...
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Jessica Lundy
演员
饰Joan Stupid
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Mark Metcalf
演员
饰Colonel Neide...
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Matt Keeslar
演员
饰Lieutenant Ne...
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Max Landis
演员
饰Graffiti Arti...
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Gas Station Attendant:
Sir, did you know there's a hole in your gas tank.
Stanley Stupid:
That's how you get the gas in there.
Stanley Stupid:
Be on the look out for anything suspicious.
Buster Stupid:
Dad, they're putting make-up on men in there.
Stanley Stupid:
Bull's eye.
Buster Stupid:
What if we formed our own army?
Petunia Stupid:
Then we'd have to form our own country.
Joan Stupid:
We could call it Stupidia.
Joan Stupid:
Oh dear I left the garbage out over night.
Stanley Stupid:
[looking inside cans] Oh no. Someone's stolen our garbage again.
[thinking they've died and gone to Heaven]
Stanley:
Hail to thee, Oh Lord.
The Lloyd:
Actually, it's pronounced 'Lloyd'.
Stanley:
[to Petunia] All these years we've been saying it wrong.
Joan Stupid:
Note to self: must buy hand held tape recorder. Then I will no longer be speaking into the garage door opener.
[Stanley tries to start it using an invisible key]
Stanley Stupid:
The car won't start.
Buster Stupid:
Maybe the battery is dead.
Joan Stupid:
It was perfectly healthy this morning.
Joan Stupid:
Stanley, you must beware of the Drive B.
Stanley Stupid:
What's a Drive B?
Joan Stupid:
We don't know, but whatever error you make with it could be fatal.
Stanley Stupid:
[notices a bee landing on his steering wheel] What are you doing, you darn bee? Can't you see I'm trying to drive? Oh, my God! The drive bee!
[Stanley's car has exploded right when he swatted a bee on it with his shoe]
Stanley Stupid:
Now that's a well-made shoe.
Stanley's Neighbor:
Hey Stanley, I haven't seen you much this weekend. What have you been doing?
Stanley Stupid:
Oh you know, had breakfast, read the paper, saved the world.
Joan Stupid:
As your president of Stupidia, I appoint Stanley Stupid head of the army.
[Stanley who just escaped from the base, raced to the car]
Joan Stupid:
Your first assignment is to go onto that army base and rescue my husband.
Buster Stupid:
And rescue our d
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ad.
Stanley Stupid:
I'm afraid those two will have to wait, we've got to get to a place called Warehouse
[When noticing a letter with "Return to Sender" on it]
Stanley:
Who is this Sender and what is he doing with other people's mail?
Evil Sender:
[Reading a letter] "If you still love me, Sally, tie a ribbon 'round the old oak tree". I'm afraid the only thing that's going to be hanging from that tree is you, "Bob"!
[Throws it into the fire]
Charles Sender:
No time to talk, I'm afraid. I'm taking over the heads of a dozen foreign countries.
Policeman:
[on the phone] Hello, is this Mrs. Stupid?
Joan Stupid:
Yes.
Policeman:
We have your children here, Ma'am.
Joan Stupid:
Oh my God, it's true. The police have kidnapped my children!
Talk Show Hostess:
Have you ever thought that you came from a strange or unusual family? Well, after you meat our guests, you might want to adjust your standards.
Talk Show Guest #1:
I divorced my wife in order to marry her daughter.
Talk Show Guest #2:
I married a siamese twin and had an affair with her sister.
Talk Show Guest #3:
I've been engaged to three of my cousins.
Stanley Stupid:
I'm, well, to tell you the truth, I'm my own Grandpa.
Talk Show Hostess:
You're your own Grandpa? Well, for some of us who don't understand this, can you explain?
Stanley Stupid:
Well, yes. It's quite simple, really.
[sings]
Stanley Stupid:
Many many years ago when I was twenty three/ I was married to a widow who was purdy as can be/ This widow had a grown-up daughter who had hair of red/ My father fell in love with her and soon they too were wed/
Stanley Stupid:
This made my dad my son in law and changed my very life/ For my daughter was my mother 'cause she was my father's wife/ To complicate the matters even though it brought me joy I soon became the father of a bouncing baby boy/
Stanley Stupid:
This little baby then became a brother-in-law to dad/ And so became my uncle though it made me very sad/ For if he was my uncle than it also makes him brother/ To the widow's grown-up daughter who of course if my stepmother/
Stanley Stupid:
My father's wife then had a son who kept him on the run/ And he became my grandchild 'cause he was my daughter's son/ My wife is now my mother's mother and it makes me blue/ For although she is my wife she is my grandmother too/
Stanley Stupid:
If my wife is my grandmother than I am her grandchild/ And every time I think of this it nearly drives me wild/
Talk Show Hostess:
has got to be the craziest thing I ever saw
Stanley Stupid:
As husband to my grandmother I am my own grandpa!
[flashback of Lloyd in the Planetarium after one of the guards spits gum on the floor]
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28
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The Lloyd
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e1a
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:
Remember: throw your gum in the trash after you get done chewing it. I spend a huge amount of my time cleaning up gum.
[flash forward back to Stanley tied to the chair and enraged]
Stanley Stupid:
In the name of the Lloyd!
Stanley Stupid:
I'm stuck, I'm caught, I'm trapped! Somebody help me out here!
Petunia Stupid:
I'm cornered!
Stanley Stupid:
That's it, I'm cornered! That's the word I'm looking for.
Chinese Waiter #2:
It's not our battle to fight, Johnson. We have enough trouble getting soy sauce into these tiny packets!
Late Night Show Host:
[reading off a "cue card", actually a reminder note held by Mrs. Stupid] Give it up to the Fat Guy!
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