advertisement Salesman: Remember, this is what people want: big tits and big hits! Big tits and big hits! [repeated voice over] Arliss Michaels: My name is Arliss Michaels. I represent athletes. These are my stories. Giselle: Perhaps I underestimated you. Arliss Michaels: Oh I hope so. I make my living off of people that underestimate me. Drew: No more commercials for creamed corn, which I had to eat mercilessly over and over and over again. Like giving a tablespoon a blow job swallowing that gunk. [Arliss and some clients are playing poker] Jerome "The Bus" Bettis: Yeah, Arliss got me $4.6 million up front. What's the bet? Arliss Michaels: $2. Jerome "The Bus" Bettis: That's too rich for my blood. Arliss Michaels: I guess the bus stops here. [During a radio show] Jim Rome: Well guess who just grabbed a vine? The maestro of manipulation himself, Arliss Michaels. Alexi: Surely you realize I'm a natural blonde. Rita Wu: Surely you realize we shower together. Rita Wu: [Arliss is wondering why one of his clients, a black quarterback can't get on a team] I told you the reason why. It's as clear as black and white. Arliss Michaels: More like black and puce. I just picked up a rumor that Theo Holt is gay. Kirby Carlisle: Gay? No way. Theo Holt doesn't sing from the mike... We've chased tail together. He's been my wingman for a dozen missions. Arliss Michaels: Has he ever shot down any planes? Rita Wu: [Rita has been called into work so early, rollers are still in her hair] Even Katie Couric doesn't get up this early.