"Pinky and the Brain"(1995)

advertisement The Brain: This is the earth. And this is Pinky. You can tell the difference quite easily. One is a lump of inert matter hurtling blindly through the void. The other... is the earth. The Brain: So, you sacked the cocky khaki Kicky Sack sock plucker? Mr. Sackett: The second cocky khaki Kicky Sack sock plucker I've sacked since the sixth sitting sheet slitter got sick. The Brain: We're going to a place where the sun never sets, the size of your wallet matters, and actors and actresses slave all day. Pinky: We're going to Denny's? The Brain: Pinky, are you pondering what I'm pondering? Pinky: I think so Brain, but if you replace the P with an O, my name would be Oinky, wouldn't it? The Brain: Pinky, are you pondering what I'm pondering? Pinky: I think so Brain... but do I really need 2 tongues? The Brain: Pinky, are you pondering what I'm pondering? Pinky: I think so, Brain, but this time, you put the trousers on the chimp. The Brain: Pinky, are you pondering what I'm pondering? Pinky: I think so, Brain, but if they called them "sad meals" no one would buy them. The Brain: Pinky, are you pondering what I'm pondering? Pinky: I think so, Brain, but then it'd be Snow White and the Seven Samurai... The Brain: Pinky, are you pondering what I'm pondering? Pinky: I think so, Brain, but how are we going to make pencils that taste like bacon? Or maybe we should make bacon that tastes like pencils. Narf. Pinky: Narf! The Brain: Yes, finally! The Happy Sappy Children of Many Lands ride! Where cheering music will spread the message that a mouse should rule the world! Pinky: Oh no, Brain. Narf! You're thinking of that other park in Orlando. [repeated line] The Brain: YES! The Brain: Are you pondering what I'm pondering? Pinky: I think so Brain, but burlap chafes me so. The Brain: Pinky, are you pondering what I'm pondering? Pinky: I think so, but where will we find an open tattoo parlor at this time of night? The Brain: Pinky, are you pondering what I'm pondering? Pinky: I think so Brain, but Zero Mostel times anything will still give you Zero Mostel. The Brain: Pinky, are you pondering what I'm pondering? Pinky: I think so, Brain, but how will we get the Spice Girls into the paella? The Brain: Pinky, are you pondering what I'm pondering? Pinky: I think so Brain, but... Kevin Costner with an English accent? I dunno. The Brain: Pinky, are you pondering what I'm pondering? Pinky: Well, I think so Brain, but balancing a family, and a career? Ooh, it's all too much for me. The Brain: Pinky, are you pondering what I'm pondering? Pinky: Well, I think so Brain, but isn't Regis Philbin already married? The Brain: Pinky, are you pondering what I'm pondering? Pinky: Well, I think so Brain, but if we didn't have ears, we'd look like weasels. The Brain: Pinky, are you pondering what I'm pondering? Pinky: I think so Brain, but pants with horizontal stripes make me look chubby. The Brain: Pinky, are you pondering what I'm pondering? Pinky: I think so Brain, but why would anyone want a depressed tounge? The Brain: Pinky, are you pondering what I'm pondering? Pinky: Um... I think so, Brain, but what if the chicken won't wear the nylons? Pinky: Egad. You astound me, Brain. The Brain: That's a simple task, Pinky. The Brain: Are you pondering what I'm pondering, Pinky? Pinky: Wha, I think so Brain, but - *snort* No, no, it's too stupid. The Brain: We will disguise ourselves as a cow. Pinky: Narf. That was it *exactly*. The Brain: Moo. We are a cow. Take us to China. The Brain: Pinky, are you pondering what I'm pondering? Pinky: I think so Brain, but if Jimmy cracked corn, and no one cares, why does he keep doing it? Pinky: Gee, Brain. What are we going to do tonight? The Brain: The same thing we do every night, Pinky. Try to take over the world. The Brain: Quiet Pinky, I'm getting ready for tomorrow night. Pinky: Why? What are we going to do tomorrow night? The Brain: [Irritated] Guess! Pinky: Oh, try to take over the world, right. Pinky: What are we going to do tonight, Brain? The Brain: Same thing we do every night, Pinky. Try to ditch Dudley Boore! [Pinky's film about World Domination is ruined] The Brain: Come, Pinky, we must prepare for tomorrow night. Pinky: Why? What are we going to do tomorrow night. The Brain: Same thing we do every night, Pinky. Try to take [the film slows down and rips apart] Singers: They're Pinky, They're Pinky and the Brain Brain Brain Brain Brain. The Brain: Behold, I can create fire from a little box. Alan: So what? Cannibal #1: Big deal. Cannibal #2: Let's eat 'em. The Brain: I can steal your souls and put them in this glass. Alan: So what? Cannibal #1: Big deal. Cannibal #2: Let's eat 'em. Pinky: I can make bubbles with my spit. [the cannibals gasp and begin to bow] The Brain: *Now* do you believe we were sent by your god? Alan: Naw, that's just *really cool*. The Brain: Are you pondering what I'm pondering? Pinky: Woof, oh, I'd have to say the odds of that are terribly slim, Brain. The Brain: True. Pinky: I mean, really, when have I ever been pondering what you've been pondering? The Brain: To my knowledge, never. Pinky: Exactly. So, what are the chances that this time, I'm pondering what you're pondering? The Brain: Next to nil. Pinky: Well, that's exactly what I'm thinking, too. The Brain: Therefore, you ARE pondering what I'm pondering. Pinky: Poit, I guess I am. The Brain: Are you pondering what I'm pondering? Pinky: I think so, Brain, but we're already naked. The Brain: Are you pondering what I'm pondering? Pinky: I think so, Brain, but if we get "Sam spayed," we'll never have any puppies. The Brain: Are you pondering what I'm pondering? Pinky: Uh, I think so, Brain, but balancing a family and a career... oooh, it's all too much for me. The Brain: Are you pondering what I'm pondering? Pinky: I think so, Brain, but me and Pippi Longstocking... I mean, what would the children look like? The Brain: Are you pondering what I'm pondering? Pinky: Uh... yeah, Brain, but where will we get rubber pants our size? The Brain: Are you pondering what I'm pondering? Pinky: Well, I think so, Brain, but if Jimmy cracks corn, and no one cares, why does he keep doing it? The Brain: Are you pondering what I'm pondering? Pinky: Well, I think so, Brain, but I can't memorize a whole opera in Yiddish. The Brain: Are you pondering what I'm pondering? Pinky: I think so Brain, but the Rockettes, it's mostly girls, isn't it? The Brain: Are you pondering what I'm pondering? Pinky: I think so, Brain, but how will we get a pair of Abe Vigoda's pants? The Brain: Are you pondering what I'm pondering? Pinky: I think so, Brain, but can the Gummi Worms really live in peace with the Marshmallow Chicks? The Brain: Are you pondering what I'm pondering? Pinky: Wuh, I think so, Brain, but wouldn't anything lose its flavor on the bedpost overnight? The Brain: Are you pondering what I'm pondering? Pinky: I think so, Brain, but if the plural of mouse is mice, wouldn't the plural of spouse be spice? The Brain: Are you pondering what I'm pondering? Pinky: Yes Brain, but if our knees bent the other way, how would we ride a bicycle? The Brain: So many levels... [drools] The Brain: ahhhhh... Pinky: Just say "poit". The Brain: Whenever I say "poit" Pinky, we will be on Mars. Pinky: What planet is this? The Brain: Pinky, are you pondering what... you know. Pinky: I think so, but... uh... something about a duck. [the Brain's shrinking chant] The Brain: Charlie Sheen, Ben Vereen, shrink to the size of a lima bean. Big Jake: And they say them UFO things are just pie plates... well, they ARE pie plates. ALIEN pie plates... The Brain: Tomorrow night, Pinky, we will come up with a new plan. One that isn't foiled by the atomic weight of gold. The Brain: Hi, I'm Bubba Beau Bob Brain. The Brain: Are there any questions? Pinky: Oh, Oh, pick me, Brain. The Brain: GENERAL Brain. Pinky: Yes, um, what is the password? The Brain: I can't tell you. If you were to be captured you might give it away. Pinky: What, me? Never, no, Narf, never. The Brain: And if you were tortured? Pinky: Oh, well that's different then, isn't it? [the Brain has made a list of the 5 things needed to be a country singer] The Brain: Read the list to me, Pinky. Pinky: Okay. "Cowboy clothes." The Brain: Check. Pinky: Southern accent. The Brain: Check, Y'all. Pinky: Very good, Brain. "Working-class values." The Brain: I like beef jerky and the comedy stylings of Gallagher. Check. Pinky: A name consisting of no less than three words. The Brain: Just call me Bubba Bo Bob Brain. Check. Pinky: A height of at least six feet. The Brain: Che... Drats. The Brain: I'd like to thank all the little people I stepped on to get where I am today. The Brain: We must head to a place where overweight, middle-aged people go to party and throw away money. Pinky: Capitol Hill? The Brain: I will accept nothing less than mahogany. Pinky: There is no substitute for Diana Ross. The Brain: The entire world will beg to bow before me, their charismatic despot. The Brain: No, Pinky. Never use two drops of the formula. It would cause a reaction on the molecular level that is completely unpredictable. Pinky: Oh, I hate it when that happens. Narf. The Brain: Now throw the switch and let us begin the battle for the planet. The Brain: Enough. If this is what passes for conduct becoming of world leaders, I don't want any part of it. The Brain: Sigmund Freud would have had a field day with you, Pinky. Pinky: Ah, he liked sports then, did he? The Brain: Do you practice being dim or is it a natural talent? Pinky: Oh practice Brain. All day, EVERYDAY! The Brain: Pinky, there are times when I feel I'm bearing my soul to a tube of caulk. Pinky: Mmm! Caulk! The Brain: ...And yet I continue. The Brain: Pinky, you give a whole new meaning to the phrase, "counter-intelligence." You have the I.Q. of plaster. The Brain: Hurry up, Pinky, If we don't get to Carley Simon's house I'll never know if that song was about me. The Brain: ...that excites the masses. Pinky: Newspapers? Religious tracts? The Victoria's Secret catalogue?