In this dark comedy a mischevious ten year old boy named Clifford (Martin Short) is sent to his uncle Martin's (Charles Grodin) for the week...更多>
Clifford: I think you're the bestest uncle in the whole wide world! Martin Daniels: Well there it is, Clifford, Dinosaur World. Are you happy? Clifford: I'd say I'm the happiest boy in the whole wide world, Uncle Mental Case. Martin Daniels: I'm the mental case? You're the one in the stray jacket. Clifford: I imagine when they put you in yours, you'll need a much larger one, sir. Martin Daniels: That's cute. Passenger: Would you please stop hitting the back of my chair? I am trying to sleep! Clifford: I'm sorry, Miss Nice Older Person, but I don't know what you're talking about. Perhaps you were just having a nightmare about your early days in the circus. Passenger: One more word out of you and I'll call the flight attendant. [Throws Steffen back at Clifford] Clifford: Wasn't nice of the mean old lady to smash your collarbone was it, Steffen? Martin Daniels: What if you got your hands on plutonium? "I just made the bestest nuclear bomb in the whole wide world!" Clifford: Don't reject me, Uncle Martin! Clifford: You wouldn't lie to me, would you Uncle Martin? 'Cause if you did I'd be so angry I don't know what I'd do. Sarah Davis: See Clifford, didn't I tell you everything would be alright? Clifford: Yes you did Miss Sarah, but I don't like those men. They're liars, and everybody knows that liars eventually get caught. Martin Daniels: Yeah that's right you little peckerhead. Gerald Ellis: Where have you been? You should've been here an hour ago, I've been listening to this idiot for... What are you looking at? Martin Daniels: Nothing. Gerald Ellis: Good. Did you make the changes on the model? Martin Daniels: Yes I made the changes on the model. Gerald Ellis: Yeah but you didn't shave. We got the entire press court here, you look like shit. Martin Daniels: I look like shit? Well you look like Willie Nelson. Martin Daniels: I have a criminal record. But you know what you're gonna have? You're gonna have a one-way ticket back to your parents! Clifford: Don't send me back to my parents, they hate me! Martin Daniels: Not as much as I do! Martin Daniels: Gee I don't like him! Martin Daniels: Listen to me. Listen to me a minute. [Places Stephen in the center of the table] Martin Daniels:
Just leave the dinosaur there, I'm trying to tell you something. When I... When I was a little boy... You know, you touch the dinosaur, I'm gonna kill you.
Clifford: Stephen wanted to stand here. Martin Daniels: Give it to me! I'll rip its head off! Give it to me! God almighty, Boy! Now listen to me, I'm trying to tell you something to help you. When I was a little boy growing up in Chicago, there was this great amusement park called Riverview. Your father tell you about it? Clifford: Yes. Martin Daniels: I thought that was the only place where a boy like me could be happy but my father never took me there. And then one day, they tore it down before I ever got a chance to go. I understand how you feel. Clifford: Does it ever get easier, Uncle Martin? Martin Daniels: Not really. Martin Daniels: Here's the deal: Go to your room, write a confession that I'll take to the police, I will not send you back to your parents, and you tell Sarah that you and I are the best of friends. Clifford: And we are, aren't we? Martin Daniels: Shut up. Sarah Davis: Martin, you need help. Martin Daniels: He's the one who needs help! Go ahead and take him away but don't blame me when his head starts spinning around! Watch out for the green vomit! [Clifford procures Stephen from Uncle Martin] Clifford: He says please don't hurt him, he's the only one left in his family. Martin Daniels: Just go to your room and write your confession! Pretty soon there won't be anyone left in his family! Clifford: I love you, Uncle Martin. Martin Daniels: And I love you too, Clinton. Clifford: Clifford. Martin Daniels: Hi, this is Martin Daniels, I'm not home right now but I got a bomb under city hall. Talk to you later. Clifford: Hi, this is Clifford. I can't tell you where my Uncle Martin is right now but I'll give you a hint: kaboom! Martin Daniels: Don't worry about Clifford, he'll be fine if you give him a ton of sugar and a book about Hitler. Sarah Davis: You're a phony! Believe me, I can spot a phony a mile away. Drag Queen: Excuse me, Honey, have you seen a gray Collie dog around here? Sarah Davis: No, Ma'am, I haven't. Sarah Davis: You are such a baby. Clifford should be babysitting you. Martin Daniels: No thanks, I prefer babysitters who aren't affiliated with the Manson family. Martin Daniels: I have heard that Clifford is a very special boy. Julien: Where is that little monster? Clifford: How many years you think you'll get for kidnapping me, Uncle Ten-Most-Wanted? Martin Daniels: Life. Let's go a little faster shall we? Martin Daniels: That was so ebarrassing with Mr. Ellis. Please don't ever tell someone that they have a nice wig. Clifford: I said it was the bestest-looking wig I ever saw. It was a compliment. Martin Daniels: He says he doesn't wear a wig, and a person doesn't take it as a compliment if you say, "Nice wig". Clifford: But I didn't say "Nice wig", Uncle Martin, I said "Bestest-looking wig". I believe there is a difference. Parker: What do you want to be when you grow up, Clifford? Clifford: A dinosaur! [as Martin and Clifford hug, Clifford steals Stephen the plastic dinosaur from Martin's back pocket and has him pretend to walk back to him] Clifford: Stephen walked back! Clifford: Oh Uncle Martin, I am so glad you're here. I got on the train to run away, but a person tried to touch my no-no special place! And when I got back, there were bikers here. And they tied me up, Uncle Martin, and then they told me stories that they do on their bikes. Some of them were fun but some of them were scary! Gerald Ellis: I don't believe we've met. Martin Daniels: Oh, this is Miss... Gerald Ellis: Miss Sarah Davis. Yes, I'm well aware. Martin Daniels: You want me to redesign the entire model in two days? Gerald Ellis: Look, the bottom line is you've got to move the train line. Martin Daniels: Wha... Gerald Ellis: Yes, two miles. Martin Daniels: But... That's impossible, that would put the train line - That's right through the Sepulveda dam! Gerald Ellis: Oh. That's not good... Well you'll come up with something. Just hole up for a few days, drink alot of coffee, and blah blah blah, and you being the top man I know you are, you'll hit another home run for us just like you always do. You all right? Martin Daniels: No. Gerald Ellis: Good man. Martin Daniels: What do you mean you're out of chocolate? How can that be? Cashier: Everybody want chocolate. I'm out of chocolate. Martin Daniels: I NEED CHOCOLATE! Cashier: Alright, alright, I might have an Easter Bunny left over in the frige. Martin Daniels: [grabs him by the lapels] Get me the bunny! Clifford: Oh, you mean Uncle Martin... Scary...*Scary* Uncle Martin. Clifford: Any luck with that chocolate?